Posted by OzLand on July 21, 2007, at 17:48:54
In reply to All of a sudden; depression/pain; what happened?, posted by OzLand on July 20, 2007, at 22:09:15
Thanks everyone. I am up from my nap, and I feel so anxious, I can hardly breathe. I feel I have wasted the day away. I have so much work to do for Monday.
I have been in my job for 10 years next month. Intent was to stay only 5 until I heard I could be vested after 8. Then at the 8 year mark, everything fell apart.
It is true that no one even had a clue at work that I was so depressed before I did the ECT. I will never go back to U of C for psy treatment, however, again. I won't say why here, but if anyone wants to know, I will be more then welcome to say per babble mail.
I know I can carry it off in an interview. What was happening at work before the ECT was that when I got home I was exhausted, and since my work has deadlines, but I am my own boss so to speak, I did a lot of work on the weekends. Perhaps this is what is triggering me--back to doing work on the weekend. Before I became so inefficient at work (procrastinating writing reports) that I was forced to do them on the weekend. This is different, and I have to remind myself of that.
I know I can make it to Wednesday, but I hate feeling so anxious I can barely breathe, especially for someone who also has asthma and bronchitis (COPD). Oh crap. My T has tried to change things for me with appts. He has me coming at 6:45 a.m. That way I really don't miss any work. He also tried to get the Tuesday morning person to trade for Wednesday morning, someone he sees once per week, but this person said no. We do sort of buy the time. So, it would be nice to have maybe Monday and Thursday morning, and I could ask about that--but whoever he sees, well we are all long term, and so I might have to look at a time in the middle of the day which would not work for me very well at all. I would end up missing a half day of work every week. Not okay.
So, I will see about other times, maybe evening times even. He has some. But he runs a residential program for young adults, and so I don't really know how much time he has for doing therapy. He prefers I come in early in the morning before my "defenses for the day are up." HUM. He is right about that; they aren't up so well yet, and I say things that I might otherwise monitor if I was coming later in the day.
Please excuse my spelling which used to be good and sucks now since ECT.
OzLand
poster:OzLand
thread:770823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/771010.html