Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 21, 2007, at 14:39:41
In reply to Re: All of a sudden; depression/pain; what happened?, posted by OzLand on July 21, 2007, at 13:28:14
> Thank you for responses of support. My T worries about me not having anyone in my life who is supportive of me. My husband has his own stuff going on and though he thinks he is being supportive, what he does just adds to my stress and pain.
>That sounds really hard :( I'm sorry that husband and T can't be there for you when you need them so much :(
> I had to go into work this morning to see someone for an evaluation, and now that I am home, I am exhausted and just want to go take a nap which is what I plan to do.
That sounds like a really sensible plan to me.
>I feel horribly depressed still, and it is like the old record playing the same song again. Something can set it off, and then depression takes on a life of its own. And I become more and more depressed.
Can you hear the depressed part of you as separate from the regular you? Are you able to make a little choice here and there NOT to listen to the bad voice?
> I think to my self what difference does it make; there is nothing he can do anyway except suggest the hospital, and I don't want to do that.
Sometimes when we least expect it our T's actually can buoy our spirits. I was in a bad place yesterday and saw T. I don't know what we talked about. Mainly me confessing how I was losing my mind. But somehow I felt better afterwards. Not well, but better. I don't know how it works, but somehow it does. Just having an ear.
>I am looking at another job, actually in Chicago, and I need to get out of this funk or I will mess that up too. This job seemed to come along at the most opportune time.
Funny thing- I have a lot of records and evidence for my work when I was in this terrible depression last year. Aside from my hair looking unstyled, there is very little in the way of my manner or my job performance that belies how ill I was. I think that part of the illusion that depression provides is that our work is total sh*t. But that's just an illusion. Maybe you won't be 100%, but you sure won't be 0% either. You will be you, and I hope they hire you. Then you can hang out with Dr. Bob on a more regular basis (isn't THAT motivating. yeah right...)
>
> So, I am off to take a nap and hope I feel better later. If not, well then I don't know what to do. Sorry, but magazines, TV, candy of any sort, etc is not for me. Neither is curling up and sleeping as I know it leads to weird stuff if I do too much. After a point, I used to have trouble distinguishing reality from dreams. I won't let that happen.It's okay- comforting things only help those who will be comforted. You might not be there yet. Well, you have to shower no matter what, so use a nice fancy shower gel, okay? Dreams from reality... that's an illusion of the sane
-Ll
poster:LlurpsieNoodle
thread:770823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/770959.html