Posted by twinleaf on September 8, 2007, at 16:01:43
In reply to Re: 'moments of meeting', posted by DAisym on September 8, 2007, at 14:51:36
About putting things into words- we really both have to, I guess- in order for us each to know what's going on. But it feels like the real, important thing happened just before that- mostly in feeling close, understood, in me bursting into tears suddenly- things like that. Like you, I feel like I'm giving myself up to a torrent of feelings; I don't want to, and I don't know where it's going, but I know it will be better for me if I do it. Lots of times, it just doesn't happen; I think it requires me feeling that he is REALLY close and understanding for it to happen. So it's not exactly intentional- more often spontaneous and unexpected, and often triggered by an especialy empathic. tuned-in comment from him.
I haven't known this one as long as you've known yours- it's six months now, and this is just starting to happen. It hasn't occurred to me to ask him if he's pleased- he has quite an expressive face, and when he is pleased with what we've done, I feel I know it. And, as you say, it is very hard work for both of us, so I sometimes also sense from him, and feel myself thinking something like, "whew, that was very scary and hard, but it feels like just what we should be doing with one another"
I wish these moments woud happen more often. Having had such a horrible, unexpected termination with my previous T, building up enough trust has been very hard to do, but it's getting better steadily. I do feel lucky to have somehow landed with someone who feels it's important to work the way our therapists do, and I know you feel just the same. Mine, who is an analyst, told me he wasn't trained this way, but had gradually moved over into becoming much more relational and interactive as he saw what worked best- and of course went to conferences where all these ideas were being discussed.
poster:twinleaf
thread:781609
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/781636.html