Posted by Lucie Lu on May 29, 2008, at 23:39:00
In reply to And now, something new afterall - trigger, posted by DAisym on May 29, 2008, at 20:09:19
on the subject of arousal... I often find that I have been aroused during sessions, not that I feel it consciously but evidence of it afterwards (wetness - embarrassing to say!). I do find my T attractive - he is a little older than me (same age as my H), similar values and lifestyles, and he is an attractive person and of course I have affectionate feelings for him. But that is not where I'm at right now with him and vice versa. I have heard women report similar responses and I've told him that for me, closeness and sexual response are intertwined and it seemed perfectly reasonable to me but he told me, no not everyone feels that way, that for me the two are intertwined in a way that reflects my past. We haven't explored it much but I'm sure we will when I'm ready, I do have some problems in that area - like intrusive S&M fantasies - and we will go into it deeper some time but not now, we have more basic issues to work on. I was always really embarrassed to talk frankly about sex but there was one time that I really freaked out about some sexual feelings from my ACOA past and he actually came in to see me on a Saturday and we talked about it, so after that nothing really seems too far out to discuss. He's shown me that he's able to be a safe harbor for me in that area and when I'm ready, I'll take advantage of it. So I'm sure you will be able to too if you are close to your T, just don't worry, use whatever words seem comfortable to you, whether they are clinical or street :) it doesn't matter, I'm sure your T will deal with it if he's a good T and has heard it every which way, so it matters more to us than with him. Your T sounds helpful, just only go at the speed you feel comfortable, don't rush, it sounds like he'll be there. -LL
poster:Lucie Lu
thread:831829
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/832002.html