Posted by Dinah on May 30, 2008, at 7:53:12
In reply to And now, something new afterall - trigger, posted by DAisym on May 29, 2008, at 20:09:19
Well, I suppose you've heard from me. :)
And truly my wires are so messed up, especially since I mostly stopped having panic attacks, that my experience is clearly not the norm. It's not just therapy either. Any anxious situation, or any number of other things can cause it. And since it really isn't related to sex I barely think to notice it, much less discuss it.
But those times I have, my therapist has found it interesting. Like a new and different sort of beetle landed on his desk.
I suppose at one point or another he asked what I meant by that. And my response would be to say with some acerbity that I mean the constellation of responses one would ordinarily mean when discussing arousal. He never makes me go into more detail.
But in general when discussing sex, I use euphemisms, hand gestures, and lots of "you know"s. Or I use the least charged way of saying something. Penis, breasts, nipples, testicles, all those things I can say. But nothing overly technical, and certainly no slang. Ick. He used slang just once, early on, and apparently correctly decided it wasn't appropriate for this client.
I'm this weird combination. On the one hand, I can discuss sex in the least erotic way you could imagine. I can take all the fun out of sex, and that is in fact my normal way of speaking about it. I suppose that falls in with the self protection of my looks. But on the other hand, I discuss sex with ridiculous discomfort, lowered head, nodding or shaking my head in response to his questions, and almost completely in very roundabout euphemism and gestures. He doesn't make me put it in to words at those times, perhaps because he knows I won't, and merely asks clarifying questions when he needs to.
The only really difficult times for me were the couple of times I discussed dreams involving him. That last one, I not only hung my head down over my lap, but finger combed my hair to cover what still showed of my face. lol.
Sometimes I regret not asking more questions myself. Fairly recently he asked a clarifying question and when I answered the obvious intent in the negative, he followed up. I didn't say anything at the time, but by the next session I was bursting with curiosity. If I said no to the obvious meaning of his question, what other meaning was there? Apparently there's a gap in my education. But of course he'd forgotten.
So I suppose I have two different answers to your question? Both equally true.
poster:Dinah
thread:831829
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/832049.html