Posted by rskontos on June 2, 2008, at 15:29:18
In reply to Re: ddnos switched in front of T bad one, embarras » star008, posted by B2chica on June 2, 2008, at 12:47:32
Star, I too understand as you well know. I was doing better good for a while and then we did something that I was in the decision making process. We sold my car for a car for my son and decided to get me something but were taking our time. I did not know how this would affect me or my inners. Let's just say all heck broke out. I started dissociating. And arguing with my husband, well the angry one, I think is the 11 year old. And he did not get it. Plus we had made an appt. for H to talk to my T and I was very nervous, plus my inners were nervous. Between the car and the appt. I switched and called and cancelled the appt. but I did not know I had done that. So on the day of the appt. my H shows up and my T had already rescheduled someone else, and he said I had cancelled it. My H who doesn't really understand switches calls mad I tell him I don't remember calling. I am mad at my T for not thinking maybe my voice should have sounded differently. But he didn't think about that possibility.
I guess what i am trying to say, it sometimes is stuff you don't really know will bring up dissociation but then again you have had a great deal to deal with so it is understandable. I don't have any wisdom for bringing myself out of it. I have both co-consciousness and I have some I still don't know as I still leave completely. I have flashbacks now where I know I am 11 in them but I am still only getting just bits and pieces of my memories. I am though have flashbacks during the worse times. Like when My H and I have well you know. So things aren't great but I understand how you feel. I guess the brain decides what you can handle and lets it go, and then decides oops maybe this is not a good idea and sends someone else out to handle it. I am not sure.
Sometimes I feel like those I am aware of I am blended better with but then other times I feel alien and disjointed.
For me, I still don't feel safe anywhere. I want to borrow B2chica's T. I hope you feel better soon.
let me know if I can help in anyway.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:832164
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/832534.html