Posted by raisinb on July 28, 2008, at 18:45:13
In reply to Transference, posted by Amanda29 on July 28, 2008, at 16:53:26
Amanda, I feel for you. It is a *terrifying* thing to confess feelings (especially attraction, love) to a therapist. And it's even more excruciating to talk about it. When I did it, I was afraid of the same thing you are. That my therapist could not handle it and would get rid of me. Or worse, that she wouldn't terminate me, but would be uncomfortable and repulsed for the remainder of our relationship.
For what it's worth, Dinah is right--most therapists do not terminate over transference. Mine didn't; in fact she pushed me to talk about it (which was not fun). The worst part for me was the destruction of the fantasy that something could actually happen between us. Even though I knew intellectually that it never, ever would, I suppose I was emotionally hanging on to the hope. And as we discussed it that hope kept being dashed.
But I am glad I did it; it was terribly hard, but it opened up my therapy in a lot of ways. And it made me more attached to, respectful of, and grateful to my therapist for handling it so well. I'll always remember her response with fondness. And I think this happens to clients all the time--they are surprised and relieved to see their therapist's positive, level response. At least it happens to people on babble all the time.
If this happens with every therapist, you have an issue that is begging to be worked out. Your inner self wants you to listen to it. Hiding this stuff might preserve a relationship with your therapist, but it probably won't really be what you need.
poster:raisinb
thread:842644
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/842665.html