Posted by stellabystarlight on September 10, 2008, at 20:56:25
In reply to Re: What's the diff. between 'care for' + 'care ab » stellabystarlight, posted by rskontos on September 10, 2008, at 16:01:08
Hi Rskontos,
You make perfect sense.
I also would not directly ask anyone else how much they cared about me or how they would feel if I died outside of therapy. Wouldn't want them to think that I have emotional problems! LOL.
I must feel quite safe with him to ask such questions. What if he'd said something insensitive like "I'd feel bad, but you're just a client."...that would have hurt! Now that I think about it, he looked pleased as he noticed and pointed out how much trust and closeness we have for me to be so open. He knows how hard it is for me to trust anyone.
I think you hit the nail on head with "what we all really want to know is, are we careable?" Deep down, I don't believe I'm careable due to multiple abandonment experiences, and I agree that is not easily undone. So now I pay a fortune in hopes that he'll undo the feelings of worthlessness, and cling to any evidence that I'm careable. Thus, my asking the babblers what the difference is between "care about" and "care for". I've been slowly, but cautiously starting to realize that he does care about me, and this has helped me to make small improvements in my life.
You sound like you have a very caring T as well. For him to say "I feel you are worth it and I believe what we are doing here is very valuable." is a wonderful way to say he cares about you.
Thank you for your generous response...you gave me a lot to think about.Take care,
Stellabystarlight
poster:stellabystarlight
thread:851345
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/851420.html