Posted by Dinah on July 1, 2009, at 22:21:26
In reply to Re: Suddenly develop Dependent Personality Disorde » rskontos, posted by Dinah on July 1, 2009, at 22:14:37
I'm thinking that it might have something to do with boundaries?
If we grew up with people who said "How could you ask that of me?" as if asking was the same as importuning, we may have gotten the message that to ask for something was to force something on someone else. But they aren't the same. It's possible to do both at the same time, but the very act of asking is not an intrusion. It's more of a knocking at the door of the other person's boundaries. The other person is free to say yes or no, and their yes or no is not a rejection of us, just a declining of the request.
I used to find it all far more shameful than I do now, tho remnants of shame cling.
poster:Dinah
thread:903860
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/904345.html