Posted by rjlockhart37 on December 21, 2019, at 0:49:51
i bearly have a enough mood to post this, but .. i am going through a bad time, i've struggled with depression, or not enough brain fuel to do a major project. You know like people wake up in the morning, they get ready for work, their dopamine levels go up to do whatever needs to be done, and ... some work 16 hour days and still can handle stress. I don't know what else to....this is a really bad time, i've been isolated and don't talk to anyone except a close friend, but they can't really help me. It's like your only person on planet feeling, and everyone you see and meet, is passive. Because your in this, isolated state and the brain keeps it that even in social situations. I talkt socialize, sometimes not very well and ... thats why i resorted to doing projectso nline because i failed in social world, not failed but....it would be grueling every day to be a social persona. I'm stuck in this situation, i want ot be known for my mind, creativity and showing people new things, even though i've been isolated. And it says in scripture to hang around christian believers, but i've ran across some that are casual christains, and i finally figured that out, because they lived like the world, they never prayed, or help in hard times. That's why they had this like...click don't bother me, say a short phrase and leave. Hopefully forcing myself to do research projects, and put online, would be the way to go. I don't want go out and be clerk, or average job. Do the same thing over, i've stuided info technology, it goes through my ears and people database thinkers are like you need to go back to step one and learn this stuff. Being an actor...in 2008 that was a short call, but i'mf not actor, i would forget lines, the only persona or character i could play is intense roles, like emotional roles that are not too pleasant, i did it acting class, i can't rerember the play it's been a while, but i got intense like irritable-raged personas. I don't want that to be an acting career. But...they say your comfort zone will kill you, you don't do anything, your comfortbale where you are, there is no change, nothing. I don't want to put whats going on right now, but all i needed to was post this and vent it out. I feel alone, and resort to creativity or research. And that means getting out of comfort zone, just sometimes when i work too hard i have a mood swing, and i can't do it anymore. But, at least i could post this, maybe someone would know. Don't be like people in the world, be who you are and don't forget it.
"There comes a time in your life where you have to choose to turn the page, write another book, or simply close it"
-Shannon L Alder
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1107350
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20161002/msgs/1107350.html