Posted by alexandra_k on February 10, 2020, at 22:45:43
In reply to Re: time and times, posted by rjlockhart37 on January 30, 2020, at 1:42:00
> yeah, you walk into a psychology session, or psychiatrist, and walk out with nothing changed. And have to pay money. It's happened to me many times, paid to say what their trained to do.
Yes. It can seem pointless and empty.
> When i was teenager, there was a therapist i will never forget, i could talk about of things, he would extend the session, and i call him.
He made you feel like he cared about you *really* and he didn't just spend time with you because he had to eat.
> i was odd as a teenager. Where ever that therapist is in the world, thank you and i won't forget you.
I have had clinicians like that, too. I don't suppose I will forget that, either. I suppose that aspect of them is what enables me to be less reactive to a lot of the nasty horrible stuff. They gave me some good responses I could internalise and carry forwards with me.
> But ... there's also a term, when someone doesn't have much people to talk too, it goes into survival mode, you do things your own way, not the crowd. I've stayed up nights in my room just in pain like no other, i didint call anyone. I after the pain feelings over with, and got it out. I just said this what i need to do, get online, do things, projects. It kinda teaches you a cycle of survival, to hurt, but still keep going.
Sometimes there isn't really anyone to talk to. You just gotta... Be good mother to / for yourself. With the tools / resources you managed to pick up along your lifepath.
I find it hard to know whether I am best to ask for help and whether I am best to not ask for help. Mostly I am best not to ask for help. People are not really in the position to help me. And people would, generally, prefer to see me fail.
I only wanted the best for them. Whatever it is that they want to do with their lives (insofar as it doesn't involve their keeping people around them in appalling conditions for their own gratification). But they don't reciprocate with that.
So over time I have less and less and less time for other people. Other people aren't sources of support and encouragement. People just react their pathology. Their hatred of other people mostly, I think. Their delight in how they made it and can use their power to prevent others from having their needs met and prevent others from contributing towards making this world a better place for us all...
Just rubbish birds incessantly squawking at each other over gawdy trinkets.
It has taken many many many many many years of my seeing that they actually do think I am a retarded child for thinking that I could do Medicine (hell they could too) if only they worked hard for it. They would really rather it be about luck.
People don't have access to Medicine / Doctors in these parts because...
They would murder the doctors if they thought they could get away with it.
I am going to stop reading the newspaper, now.
Things have gone back to 'opressive opressive opressive'. We are just trying to convey the message that everything is dim dark and oppressive (so people settle for whatever scraps they have managed to scavenge up for themselves) while the politicians pretend to care about the next election (like it makes any kind of difference to the money they collect for themselves)...
Just collecting up the money for themselves and holding back development. Like has been happening in NZ since...
Forever.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1107350
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20161002/msgs/1108428.html