Posted by BarbaraCat on September 7, 2003, at 14:16:50
In reply to Re: Drugs and Everything Is AOK......... » galkeepinon, posted by Sebastian on September 7, 2003, at 10:01:07
I've only smoked occasionally, could smoke one, usually when at a smoky bar having a drink, and then leave it. Never developed an addiction to it, evidence of our various chemical makeups. But my husband has stopped and started up again 5 times since we've been together. He knows better, is into a very healthy lifestyle otherwise, but it has him in it's grip. He's a musician and plays at smoky bars and it's been too much of a struggle and distraction for him to resist when it's all around him. His promise to me of smoking 10 cigs max has steadily crept up and up. I don't know how many he's smoking now, and he often sneaks them, but I know it's well over 10. It's his life, his body, his health. Far be it from me to monitor him. I have my own weaknesses I'm working with. But I do have to object when his coughing frequently wakes me up during the night. It then becomes my problem as well. I feel compassion for him and wish he could quit because I want him around. It's supposedly more addicting than any other substance. Plus he 'enjoys a good cigarette' and tells me I don't have to worry, he's smoking the natural kind and he won't let it ruin his health. How we can deceive ourselves.
There was a man where I worked who loved his cigars. He bought the real expensive kind and when he wasn't out in the courtyard smoking he had one chomped between his teeth. Well, he was going through around $900/month and his teeth were brown and sticky, and he wore a groove in them from chomping all day. His complexion was yellowish grey, his skin exuded tobacco toxin stink and even though you supposedly don't inhale, he coughed up great wet junk. He was 45 but looked 65. His daughter was about to start college and he hardly had anything saved for her, having spent it on his cigars over the years.
He went on Wellbutrin determined to provide for his daughter. He went through hell and became somewhat psychotic during this period but was finally able to kick it. I don't know how he's doing anymore, but hope when she graduates he won't take it up again. I doubt if any of you who are smokers have it this bad, but the point is that he was able to give it up, but mainly because of his love for his daughter.
There seems to be an external reason that provides the huge push to quit and remain quit, because like I mentioned, we can fool ourselves and personal health reasons are easily ignored. It doesn't stop emphysemics who still smoke through holes in their throats. But sometimes self love can be that reason. Sure hope y'all find a way. No one has to tell you it's a nasty habit, for you as well as anyone in the general vicinity.
poster:BarbaraCat
thread:257135
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20030903/msgs/257843.html