Posted by AMD on August 3, 2005, at 13:32:24
Folks,
On Friday night, what started as a date with a friend and a few sips of a martini led to a late-night/early morning binge consisting of too many drinks and too much cocaine. It's now Wednesday, and I feel absolutely terrible, physically and emotionally. Physically I'm tired, weak, and fatigued. Emotionally I'm worse: /extremely/ depressed, having trouble with my short-term memory, and having, for the first time in my life, suicidal ideation.
Did I over-do it this time? Am I going to feel like this forever?
The scary thing at the moment is the weakness of my short-term memory: I'll write something, and then re-read it and forget having written in -- this is moments later -- or, read it and discover it was a rambling statement. It's like I can't focus long enough to complete a sentence, and thus the sentence veers from its initial subject to something else without my even being conscious of it.
To top it off, I had to travel Sunday, and left my Lamictal at home. So for three days I was in a foreign country, depressed, having with withdrawal from Lamictal, and simply, horribly miserable.
I got home last night, ran to the pharmacy, and picked up some Lamictal, which I took immediately. I took some more this morning, as well as a 2.5 m.g. tablet of Zyprexa. Now I sit in a Starbucks contemplating how I went from feeling well, intelligent, able to concentrate just four days ago to feeling as I do now: that my life is at its end, that I won't been be able to perform my job, that I'll be fired, broke, and homeless in a matter of weeks.
Is there any hope for me? What can I do? Will I begin feeling better soon and, if so, how long will this take?
And did I do some permanent damage to my brain, given the memory and concentration problems? Are these things going to recover this time? Absent symptoms of blurred vision, headache, dizziness, or uncoordination, is it possible I had a stroke?
Finally, is there anything I can take OTC that will speed my recovery?
Why do I feel this terrible?
amd
poster:AMD
thread:537088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050722/msgs/537088.html