Posted by AMD on August 4, 2005, at 9:47:36
In reply to Re: I slipped again ... and I am afraid this one is it, posted by spriggy on August 3, 2005, at 19:39:50
spriggy,
I hope so -- I have never felt this bad. I've been depressed before and able to somewhat function if I forced myself. But I sit here at work and literally can't concentrate. The worst thing is I was (finally) feeling better after a month, doing well at my new job, everything. And I slipped.
To top it off, for the first time in my life, I thought suicide might be an escape. I'm not capable of going through with it -- I will always have a glimmer of hope, I think. But right now I can't find any.
I took a Provigil this morning to get out of bed, but my mindset is such that I can't even imagine feeling better any time soon, let alone in a couple of days.
I've done this cycle before ... but this feels different, if that makes sense. More physical. Or perhaps it's the depression affecting my memory and concentration (and happiness) more than it ever has before.
amd
> I'msorry this happened again. I have no doubt you hate when this kind of things happens.
>
> Have you ever been a part of a substance abuse program? Sometimes just being around other's who struggle with the same thing is so helpful.
>
> I am praying for you.
>
> (((((hugs))))
>
> Ps. You are going to be okay- just give it a day or two more to get out of your system. Drink lots of water.
poster:AMD
thread:537088
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050722/msgs/537417.html