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Re: So close to falling in » ClearSkies

Posted by antigua on December 26, 2006, at 11:19:32

In reply to Re: So close to falling in » antigua, posted by ClearSkies on December 26, 2006, at 8:45:19

What do I do? Well, I still avoid those triggering holiday invitations. Someday I hope not to do that, but not this year. My DH drinks, so that makes it very hard. But I just think of the consequences--a couple of hours of fun and then the huge crash of guilt and humiliation. I just don't want that.

I nap a lot. And trying to get my DH to do other things that doen't involve drinking. We went to a basketball game the other night (HS) so there was no drinking, of course, and he actually said he had fun.

I can't read right now--can't concentrate, but I just try to keep moving. I think it's just thinking it all the way through that helps. My addiction group disbanded, but I had just about dropped out of that already (sometimes the group really made me WANT to drink).

And I just examine the triggers as carefully as I can, and try to see if meditation or reflection will help me identify what's causing the anguish. It's not easy, but I think my drive to NOT drink because of the consequences is the most important thing. Impulse control is so important. Finally, I'll call my T if I have to. Or my Pdoc. They remind me to look for adult ways to deal with the childish hurt that the holidays bring up.

But it's still not fair. But life isn't fair. I love my life the way it is much more than wanting to drink.

Hang in there and keep writing if it helps. I'm here; you are not alone.

I'm of the belief that it's the first drink that gets me into trouble, as opposed to I could just have one drink, because I know I just can't have one.

If all else fails, I go to bed.
Hang in there. New Year's eve is hard, but if I have to isolate I will.

Love,
antigua


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