![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 44 to 68 of 68. Go back in thread:
Posted by Rigby on June 15, 2004, at 17:45:53
In reply to My cat is gone., posted by kara lynne on April 3, 2004, at 16:52:39
Hi Kara Lynne,
A few years ago my beloved kitty ran away. What you are writing here was so much of how I felt too. My bargain with "the gods" was to just give me another moment with his weight in my arms--just another moment to feel that heft.
I did everything. I hung up 500 signs, went to the pound, called for him. I even hired Sherlock Bones, a pet detective. PLEASE, if you haven't already--google how to search for a missing cat. Best tips: signs and lots of them, look for her late into the night when it's quiet, she's more apt to be bolder and you can hear her. Had I looked for my baby boy this way I would have found him easier.
The rest of my story is kinda/sorta happy. Twenty six days later he returned. I was wrecked physically from the experience--it took a toll. He was okay though--cats are survivors and yes, generally they DO show back up. And yes, they generally ARE very close--within a block!! Check with neighbors in their garages too--they get locked in.
Since we live in a pretty quiet 'hood and our other cats are in/out and we figured he'd learned his lesson we let him back out again. Again he went missing but this time he got hit by a car--I found him, rescued him but he'd broken his pelvis and his kidneys got hit. We've nursed him now for 9 months but he will go down on Friday. My anguish feels like yours--I can just so relate but with your kitty you've still got a chance--do not give up, do not get too depressed to do anything.
I'm sorry if my message repeats others' advise--I did not have time to read all the responses.
My heart goes out to you. It feels even worse not knowing and imaging your sweet Alice somewhere awful is extraordinarily painful.
One silver lining--my kitty got lost right around a year into therapy--this loss and this impending loss this week have been gateways into feelings I did not know I could access. A special friend, a special kitty can change us forever--can change us for the good.
Big hugs...
Posted by Rigby on June 15, 2004, at 17:58:01
In reply to There Is Hope » kara lynne, posted by Rigby on June 15, 2004, at 17:45:53
Hi Kara Lynne,
I didn't look at the date this happened--early April. So yes, there is hope but this is a long while. However, I have definitely heard of kitties coming back after 4 months even. I told myself I would stop with the signs after about six weeks. I think grieving the loss of a kitty you are not sure what happened with is probably the hardest thing. There are grief support groups--I may join one after we put my cat to sleep on Friday.
Rigby
> Hi Kara Lynne,
>
> A few years ago my beloved kitty ran away. What you are writing here was so much of how I felt too. My bargain with "the gods" was to just give me another moment with his weight in my arms--just another moment to feel that heft.
>
> I did everything. I hung up 500 signs, went to the pound, called for him. I even hired Sherlock Bones, a pet detective. PLEASE, if you haven't already--google how to search for a missing cat. Best tips: signs and lots of them, look for her late into the night when it's quiet, she's more apt to be bolder and you can hear her. Had I looked for my baby boy this way I would have found him easier.
>
> The rest of my story is kinda/sorta happy. Twenty six days later he returned. I was wrecked physically from the experience--it took a toll. He was okay though--cats are survivors and yes, generally they DO show back up. And yes, they generally ARE very close--within a block!! Check with neighbors in their garages too--they get locked in.
>
> Since we live in a pretty quiet 'hood and our other cats are in/out and we figured he'd learned his lesson we let him back out again. Again he went missing but this time he got hit by a car--I found him, rescued him but he'd broken his pelvis and his kidneys got hit. We've nursed him now for 9 months but he will go down on Friday. My anguish feels like yours--I can just so relate but with your kitty you've still got a chance--do not give up, do not get too depressed to do anything.
>
> I'm sorry if my message repeats others' advise--I did not have time to read all the responses.
>
> My heart goes out to you. It feels even worse not knowing and imaging your sweet Alice somewhere awful is extraordinarily painful.
>
> One silver lining--my kitty got lost right around a year into therapy--this loss and this impending loss this week have been gateways into feelings I did not know I could access. A special friend, a special kitty can change us forever--can change us for the good.
>
> Big hugs...
>
Posted by kara lynne on July 18, 2004, at 16:05:46
In reply to Re: There Is Hope, posted by Rigby on June 15, 2004, at 17:58:01
Hi Rigby,
It is late-mid July and I am just reading this for the first time, but I am heartened to come here and find your messages. I figured this thread would be as long gone as my cat, but here were your messages when I checked. If nothing else, I appreciate so much that you seem to understand how I feel.Needless to say my Alice is still missing. I took in two kittens about two months ago, and had a lot of trouble adjusting...despite everyone thinking (myself included) that it would help to have them around. My allergies have been worse than ever before in my life, and I haven't bonded in the way I usually do to any pet that crosses my path. I still miss Alice so much it was almost worse initially, because I would keep thinking how they were not her. But when I went to look for cats, each time the one I was drawn to had just been taken, so finally I took these two instead of waiting. Maybe there was a reason I couldn't get another white cat (even though I wasn't trying to replace her, I still liked having a white cat). Maybe there was no reason at all.
An interesting note: Alice went missing March 31st. One of the kittens I took in was born April 1st. She was found, umbilical cord still attached, by a dog who took her home to his owner, gently tucked into his teeth by the scruff of her neck. This kitten, completely unlike the other one, does very specific things that Alice used to, and has a lot of the same body movements. I have grown much more attached to her, but I wouldn't want to separate the two now...they do everything together even though they're not from the same litter.
I still miss Alice every day. I was mentioning it to my mother the other day and she said, 'Maybe she found someone else she's happier with'. This was not what I wanted to hear. I would like nothing more than to come home and find her waiting for me at the front door, or at least find out what happened to her. Instead I have this little grey and white kitten that the dog saved, lying next to me, peacefully sleeping while I write this.
Thanks again Rigby.
Posted by fayeroe on July 18, 2004, at 21:19:14
In reply to Thank you Rigby, posted by kara lynne on July 18, 2004, at 16:05:46
Instead I have this little grey and white kitten that the dog saved, lying next to me, peacefully sleeping while I write this.
I am so glad that you posted, because I was thinking about you last night. I'm really glad that you have the kittens, even though the bonding hasn't been as strong as you'd like it. You saved two kitties from God knows what and we're at our best when we're helping others. I still miss Tippy, Henri, J.J. Smut and others and I grieve a little bit when I think of them. I'm sorry that your mother said what she said. That wasn't nice. And nice does matter....Pat
>
>
Posted by kara lynne on July 19, 2004, at 13:17:06
In reply to Re: Thank you Rigby, posted by fayeroe on July 18, 2004, at 21:19:14
Hi Pat,
Nice to hear from you and thanks for thinking of me. Yes, my mother comes out with the most comforting words sometimes.I'm still on the fence with these not-so-little-anymore cats. One in particular I can't seem to connect with. All her litter mates were fluffy and white, and she's almost as furless as an Abysinnian and multi-colored like a Calico. She's gawky and lanky with huge ears and a wormy little tail, the loudest purr I've ever heard, and she can't keep still. She wakes me up all through the night until finally I have to put her outside my door and listen to her cry. And if I put her out I have to put the other little guy out (who is usually sleeping peacefully) because they go nuts if they're separated. The other is much more fluffy and tactile, and reminds me of Alice (though none can compare) so she's easier to love.
I've already had to treat them for parasites, buy a couch cover and try to prevent the complete destruction of my house. Alice was always more dignified than that, even as a kitten. In hindsight I wish I would have waited for kittens I felt more sure about, but as one of my friends pointed out, it was too painful to come home each day to a house with no animal in it. And if you're an animal person you know how traumatic it is to even go into these places, let alone choose who you're going to give a good life to. On top of that I was still so depressed about Alice I might never have done it at all if not persuaded by the people around me. If nothing else they provide an alternately aggravating, occasionally charming, and constantly post-nasal diversion.
Posted by fayeroe on July 19, 2004, at 17:41:23
In reply to fayeroe, posted by kara lynne on July 19, 2004, at 13:17:06
KL: I totally understand about being more fond of one than the other.....but it will even out. The other kitty is probably still fearful about all the changes and is just trying to adjust to it all. I think you were right to get them. Did you know that you can put diatomateous earth in your pet's food and it naturally kills the parasites? Look on the 'net and you'll find tons of info on it!!! xoxoxo pat
Posted by LastDyingWish on July 21, 2004, at 20:57:42
In reply to Re: fayeroe » kara lynne, posted by fayeroe on July 19, 2004, at 17:41:23
I dont know if this helps but my moms cat of 20 years is very ill and has to be put to sleep tommorrow. Its pretty hard on me, i grew up with him, he was kinda my pet as a kid,then when i moved out it was just him and my mom. His name is thunder, he was the best cat, one thing ill always remember is when he would run into the bathroom and jump up to hit the light switch and turn it off, usually when i was on the can or taking a bath. I think I know how you must feel. If anyone reads this, please say a prayer for Thunder.
Posted by fayeroe on July 21, 2004, at 21:19:19
In reply to Re: fayeroe, posted by LastDyingWish on July 21, 2004, at 20:57:42
Oh, I wish I could be with you to share your grief at losing this wonderful old gentleman. He was a smart one, too! Turning off the light is pretty cool....I so miss my Tippy. He was with me 15 years, two months and twelve days. I'll be thinking of you and your mother.....xoxoxo pat
Posted by gardenergirl on July 22, 2004, at 0:27:12
In reply to Re: fayeroe » LastDyingWish, posted by fayeroe on July 21, 2004, at 21:19:19
Posted by LastDyingWish on July 23, 2004, at 0:13:38
In reply to ((((((Thunder)))))))) (nm), posted by gardenergirl on July 22, 2004, at 0:27:12
Posted by LastDyingWish on July 23, 2004, at 0:34:56
In reply to There Is Hope » kara lynne, posted by Rigby on June 15, 2004, at 17:45:53
At 10;30 today Thunder was put to sleep. My mom spent an hour with him prior to his passing, it happened in her arms. She just held him and let him walk around the room, he was very sick and weak. Then she felt it was time. I was leaving school when she told me.. I could barely hold back the tears. She keeps thinking that hes in the closet sleeping.. but hes not there when she checks. Its weird.. all day long the memories that I have of him keep flooding my mind. I miss him, I just wish that he could have said bye, and told us that he was ready to go.
Thunder youll be missed, and we will never forget you. Youll always be in our hearts.
JS
Posted by LastDyingWish on July 23, 2004, at 0:52:40
In reply to ((((((Thunder)))))))) (nm), posted by gardenergirl on July 22, 2004, at 0:27:12
You know what else.. Ive neve lost someone that I was close to.. Thunder is probably the first time Ive really hurt over a loss. But I view life differently now.. When i die someday, which has always seemed scarey to me.. a very lonely feeling. But all that I have loved will pass with me, or are waiting. Everything from my time, the people, teachers, family, friends, we all go together. I remember being with some friends at a high school pool and we were all afraid to jump off of the high dive, " you first", " no, you first" Once everyone else goes its alot easier. So what would life be like without all that I have loved ? That would be lonely. Instead, well all be in the pool, together. I love my time, my people, this moment, and it gets to come with me. I guess the scarey thought is that life is going to go on with out me, but its not like that at all. Life, is the people and things that I love. Plus, in a way, Ill be with Thunder again. I dont know, that the best i can do to explain it.
JS
Posted by fayeroe on July 23, 2004, at 6:47:14
In reply to Re: ((((((Thunder)))))))), posted by LastDyingWish on July 23, 2004, at 0:52:40
I know that when my dog, Tippy, died, the first thing he did was go for a walk with my mother. You see, after she had her strokes and was paralyzed, he slept in her room when I was there. He had never slept away from me, but he did that for my mother. She would stir during the night and I would hear him thumping his tail against the wall and she would say "Tippy"....After her funeral he got up on her bed and laid there awhile and then left the room. We'll see all our pets, family and friends when we leave our earthly homes. I truly believe that. Thunder has been restored to health and he's very comfortable now. And, all of my cats are playing tag with him and he's very happy.And Tippy showed him around (Tippy loved cats) and got him settled him. xoxoxo Pat
Posted by gardenergirl on July 23, 2004, at 10:02:44
In reply to Re: ((((((Thunder)))))))), posted by LastDyingWish on July 23, 2004, at 0:52:40
Sounds like a lovely explanation. Please take gentle care.
((((Lastdyingwish))))
gg
Posted by yoshimi on July 23, 2004, at 17:16:47
In reply to Fayeroe, posted by kara lynne on May 19, 2004, at 22:34:57
hi
I thought about you a lot and your poor kitty.
I just want you to know i have been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing. you and
I used to chat a lot on here. anyways, i hope
you are doing all right. and maybe talk to you
soon.yoshimi (my new name)
Posted by LastDyingWish on July 25, 2004, at 14:38:25
In reply to Re: ((((((Thunder)))))))) » LastDyingWish, posted by fayeroe on July 23, 2004, at 6:47:14
Hey, thank you so much. Your words are very comforting, its a beautirful thought.. our cats playing tag. I printed some of the posts out and gave them to my mother, which helped her out alot. JS
Posted by kara lynne on July 25, 2004, at 21:34:10
In reply to Kara Lynne » kara lynne, posted by yoshimi on July 23, 2004, at 17:16:47
Thanks for thinking of me and my kitty, it means a lot to us. I have also thought of you and wondered how you were, so it warmed my heart to find your post here. I hope we can chat again soon,
Love,
K.L.PS. Are you turning Japanese?
Posted by yoshimi on July 26, 2004, at 13:53:29
In reply to sweet yoshimi, posted by kara lynne on July 25, 2004, at 21:34:10
Hehe, yes im turning Japanese. I am a samurai.
Im really glad you figured out who i am and
didnt freak out thinking i am an internet stalker.
i wanted to write sooner, but didnt know if you
would recognize me with my new hairstyle and
crazy cute clothes, hehe. but yes i am here
and happy to see you. this place is wild
lately.curious how you are doing with other things.
i need to set up a new yahoo email addy with
my new name and then maybe we can email some.
ive got some paranoia over some people finding
me here and it keeps me from talking about
things in too much depth.hope you are doing well today. SO happy to
hear from you. =)yoshimi
Posted by kara lynne on July 26, 2004, at 14:57:03
In reply to Re: sweet yoshimi » kara lynne, posted by yoshimi on July 26, 2004, at 13:53:29
Honey I'd recognize you anywhere. And I *love* the new look, but then you look good in anything.
Yes, we must continue to hone our survival skills by practicing the art of subtlety...the way of the Samurai.
I hope you get that addy soon so we can catch up. Until then,
Arigato!
Posted by yoshimi on July 27, 2004, at 5:58:45
In reply to Re: sweet yoshimi, posted by kara lynne on July 26, 2004, at 14:57:03
Konnichiwa!
k i am set up you can find me at
yoshimininja at yahoo
see now im a ninja too.
fun fun fun fun funyes the way of the samurai.
im so happy to see you.yoshimi
Posted by kara lynne on July 30, 2004, at 13:55:44
In reply to yay kara lynne » kara lynne, posted by yoshimi on July 27, 2004, at 5:58:45
They had on a woman who was reunited with her cat, SEVEN years later and 3,000 miles away. They were able to reunite them from the cat's microchip, one of the first ever used.
How can I ever let go completely after seeing that?
Posted by fayeroe on July 30, 2004, at 14:01:13
In reply to On the Ellen Show yesterday..., posted by kara lynne on July 30, 2004, at 13:55:44
> They had on a woman who was reunited with her cat, SEVEN years later and 3,000 miles away. They were able to reunite them from the cat's microchip, one of the first ever used.
>
> How can I ever let go completely after seeing that?I told you!!!!!! Did you read about my little dog, Aunt Bea? It's been almost four weeks now. xoxoxpat
Posted by kara lynne on July 30, 2004, at 19:59:48
In reply to Re: On the Ellen Show yesterday..., posted by fayeroe on July 30, 2004, at 14:01:13
I didn't read about her, but I will look for the post and send reuniting vibes wherever they are needed. I am still so raw over Aice it's hard for me to look at any sad animal posts.
Posted by caroleo on September 26, 2006, at 12:45:19
In reply to My cat is gone., posted by kara lynne on April 3, 2004, at 16:52:39
Kara Lynne,
Are you still coming to this site? If so, please I need help coping. I just lost my dear cat Daisy that I have had for 10 years. I read your posts and was so saddened for us both. I also cannot change my bed sheets because her fur is still there. If Kara Lynne is not here, please someone that has gone thru this help me cope! She has been gone for 2 nights!!!Thanks! Lynn
Posted by April8 on December 7, 2006, at 1:08:35
In reply to Re: My cat is gone. » kara lynne, posted by caroleo on September 26, 2006, at 12:45:19
> Kara Lynne,
> Are you still coming to this site? If so, please I need help coping. I just lost my dear cat Daisy that I have had for 10 years. I read your posts and was so saddened for us both. I also cannot change my bed sheets because her fur is still there. If Kara Lynne is not here, please someone that has gone thru this help me cope! She has been gone for 2 nights!!!
>
> Thanks! LynnI lost my very first pet last year nov 3rd 2005 I was devastated and couldn't clean up my room where he played either. Don't worry about it. You don't have to clean anything up yet. You are grieving and it sounds like still in shock. Be very nurturing to yourself if you can.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Grief | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.