Posted by llrrrpp on August 30, 2006, at 23:30:51
In reply to Re: Self-Esteem suffering from depression recovery » llrrrpp, posted by Jost on August 30, 2006, at 22:50:53
Jost,
wishing there were an emoticon that was a spontaneous smile through flowing tears.yes, rare and special is the terrestrial white whale.
And of course you're right, that weight is not my main issue right now.
I just can't organize myself to write about my main issue right now, because it would require about 4 years and 8.7 terabytes of storage on Dr. Bob's server.
I just feel really alone right now. And I'm being incredibly self-critical about everything in life. Weight is one of many things, but basically peripheral to my main doubts of being a whole human being. I'm so tattered and disorganized in everything that the merest attempt to recognize success is struck down at once by the world's most giant glaring hiliter pen circling every flaw I've ever had. All my it's instead of its. All my trains of thought that took off too late and never made it to their final destination. All the time I've spent here only to be incredibly frustrated that I will never know, or be known. and the realization that it's not just a limitation of the "online support group" medium, but probably one of life in general.
lonely. yep. you bet.
And husband and i are once again in different states. And that is also a factor to consider. But how to consider it without becoming an emotional wreck?
f*ck if I know.
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:681528
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060827/msgs/681643.html