Posted by scratchpad on March 7, 2007, at 16:38:13
I am not aging gracefully. I have a self image problem that is rooted in loathing and hatred. A lifetime of it - and now my middle age approaches. I'm horrified. Never mind self-love; right now I would settle for self-tolerance.
It isn't that I look in the mirror and see a distorted image; I see my mother (far worse). Photographs aren't kind and although I have good carriage, I look slump shouldered and awkward. I criticized my mother plenty (to myself) while growing up for her appearance. Now it has come around to kick me in my ample behind. My family's women all turn loaf-shaped as they age. No evidence of a past waist can be seen.
I feel petty and vain. I don't want to look *younger*, as I've never been happy with the way I look. My inability to accept what I look like has stalled me completely. I am who I am, and look like I look like. Why can't I love that about myself?
Has anyone else come up against this wall, and how have you moved past it?
flubberly,
sp
poster:scratchpad
thread:739018
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20061105/msgs/739018.html