Posted by scratchpad on March 8, 2007, at 21:09:14
In reply to Re: This is the tough stuff for me » scratchpad, posted by Dinah on March 8, 2007, at 17:54:25
> How do you feel about your mother?
>Oooh, not so good. She taught me all I know and practice about poor self esteem and what you do with your life with it.
Currently I keep our contact minimal, and it's superficial (by nature, I believe).> I figure I'm never going to feel ok with myself unless I somehow magically become ok with my mother. If I had had longer with my grandma, who looked a heck of a lot like my mother only moreso, but was beautiful, maybe I'd have more positive feelings about myself.
>I never knew my grandmother. I've always thought poorly of my mom for being sedentary (hello, it's me too) and flubbery. In her family, any vanity displayed among females is looked upon as being shallow and stupid.
Today I was at my doctor's office and he weighed me. My blood pressure is still/again borderline high; his advice to me to correct it is to lose the excess weight. By the end of the appointment (we then moved on to sinus problems), I was crying.
> As long as I feel the way I do about my mother, I can't possibly have positive feelings about the person in the mirror.So I'm taking my hatred of my mom out on my own body, maybe? by hating it so much?
poster:scratchpad
thread:739018
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20061105/msgs/739428.html