Posted by Dr. Bob on May 29, 2003, at 22:46:11
In reply to DID diagnosis after other diagnoses., posted by deirdrehbrt on May 27, 2003, at 21:25:04
Posted by Pfinstegg on May 28, 2003, at 22:34:18
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030525/msgs/229814.html
Yes, I agree- the scariest part is trying to come to terms with the fact that the same people who loved you also harmed and damaged you. I think the idea, which my therapist believes in, of separate or "parallel" brain processing of these so different experiences is very useful in understanding how we managed to survive these experiences- and also for understanding the depression, anxiety and rapid shifts of consciousness which abuse survivors have. To describe my own experience with trying to integrate these different feeling-states in therapy, I find that one part of me- the part that felt loved- does not want to get contaminated (or destroyed) by the part that was neglected and abused. And, strange to say, the abused part does not want to be contaminated (and possibly eliminated or disavowed) by the loved part! I am much more familiar with the loved part, and was really astonished to discover that the unloved, abused part has an entirely different agenda of its own! Now that I know this, I can see that it is so much better, and easier, to keep them separate from one another. The very hardest work that I have to do in therapy is to allow these two entirely different feeling-states to co-exist more and more, as I am able. I would rather do anything else than this, but I do trust that my therapist is right when he says that it is what I need to do. He wants all of me to be in the room with him. It's not the kind of therapy where you come out of a session feeling better, necessarily- lots of times I barely make it out of there. But I also find that something wonderful is occuring- more of me trusts him, more deeply, and my fears and terrors are decreasingly slowly but steadily.
I am not very far along in this, yet, but I hope what I have said will give you confidence in your own journey towards healing and peace of mind.
Pfinstegg
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:229576
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030529/msgs/230111.html