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Re: DID after other diagnoses. « Pfinstegg

Posted by deirdrehbrt on May 30, 2003, at 17:25:32

In reply to Re: DID after other diagnoses. « Pfinstegg, posted by Dr. Bob on May 29, 2003, at 22:46:11

Hi again,
I understand what you (Dinah and Pfinstegg) are saying about dissociation, and being fully present in the therapist's office, etc. I have a difficult time with injury and illness; I right now have a second degree burn that I can't feel. When I shower, I often find injuries that I have no recollection of having gotten. I've been hit across the face with a baseball bat and only felt the pressure of the strike. I had a bloody nose, loose teeth, torn up lip, etc.
I also experience the ability to separate emotion from reason. I usually react rationally, but on occasion, emotion completely takes over. In either case though, I know what is happening. I would very much like it if this was the worst of it. It isn't though. The symptoms of DID are at times terrifying.
One experience, perhaps the most scary, was when I was told about the time that I held my oldest daughter down by her throat, screaming at her to 'change her attitude'. I have gone out with a friend to a theatre production, and have absolutely no memory of ever being in that theatre at all. When I was working as an engineer, I had completely built a piece of equipment, but have no memory of it. I went to a sandwich shop and was asked if I wanted my usual. My 'usual' wasn't my 'usual' and the person who asked about this 'new usual' knows me from elsewhere. In a near-by town, there are some people who know me by an entirely different name. I have been called by other names in my own town.
It's very confusing, and maybe helps to illustrate the extent of dissociation that some people experience. It's scary, I pray that I'll never hurt anyone, and don't think I would. Having to remind yourself to treat a wound that you don't feel is strange. It is strange work.
Dee.


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