Posted by daisym on September 16, 2004, at 18:50:21
In reply to Re: Just Need to Babble - sorry, long » daisym, posted by fallsfall on September 16, 2004, at 9:14:14
<<<But, even if you *were* to "blame", why would that mean that noone would intervene? ...I can't speak for anyone else, but we have talked quite a bit and I think that I do know you pretty well - *I* will certainly intervene for you. I wish you could see you as I do.
Falls, you always say just the right thing. Today she was REALLY out and talking. And asking questions, especially about her mother not knowning. And she look at our therapist and asked him if she had told him about all of this when it was happening, would he have told? He sat up completely straight, looked directly in her eyes and said, "Yes. I would have told. And made it stop." She lost it completely at this point and sobbed that so many people would have been in trouble. And he said he knew that, but it would have been best for her. She said she was sad she didn't know him then. And he said he was too. But he was here now to help her so she could talk as much as she wanted. And then she cried and cried. He just talked softly as she cried about how she needed to let it all out and how it was safe here to cry. And when I finally stopped and pulled "us" back together, there was a strange relief. I told him it was like she had told him for the first time, which is strange because I have been talking about all this for months. He said he hoped she would come back and talk to him again...she could ask more questions and set the agenda.
I did ask him about how he takes care of himself. He actually thanked me for my concern and told me about his collegues, friends and family and said each one provided a different kind of support but that he was really good at taking care of himself. And for me to stop reading the internet stuff that says therapists get burned out when working with abuse victims. This wasn't him. We also talk about gender again, given the male/female dynamic and the general recommendation that females who have been sa find a female therapist. He asked me if I thought I need a change (no!) because he thought we were working well together. I told him I was just worried about it all being too much for him.
So, long, hard session to end a long hard week. Thank you for everything else you wrote. I need to read it a hundred times but it helps to hear it. And to know you believe I'm worth all this.
(((Falls)))
poster:daisym
thread:391233
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040911/msgs/391678.html