Posted by daisym on September 15, 2004, at 23:22:48
In reply to Re: Just Need to Babble - sorry, long, posted by gardenergirl on September 15, 2004, at 21:46:28
GG,
There are tears in my eyes. I want to believe everything you wrote... I guess there is still old guilt for starting therapy for a completely different reason and ending up here, in this mess. He didn't know what he was getting himself into.
He reminds me that he is known for long term therapy and he is in it for the long haul. But geez, how long is long?! And how much of this do I let her tell him? And how detailed am I supposed to get...I still use such broad general terms and expressions. I wish I knew the "rules", GG,...it is hard for someone like me to just dump it all out there and expect someone to be OK with it.
I've been stuck on the same writing assignment for months...write about an abusive episode putting in every detail you can remember. Every one. Last time I tried, I wrote about the ceiling. Actually a bunch of ceilings. I gave it to my therapist and said I feel like this is really, really important but I really don't know why. So now he has asked on several occasions for me to tell him about the ceiling. But I can't go there again. I sort of shrug and talk about something else. Which tells me that it IS important in some way. But until I figure out what is down that path, I'm not going there.
And that is this ongoing fight. I'm afraid to go down and a path and take him with me if I don't know where it is leading. Because I don't know what he will say about the destination once we arrive.
I guess I still have a lot of work to do around trust. You'd think after a year I'd be further along than this!
Thanks again for the warm thoughts. They are very much appreciated.
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:391233
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040911/msgs/391354.html