Posted by lonelygal2 on February 6, 2005, at 17:18:33
i really really really want my old therapist and its not fair that i can't ever talk to her ever (i feel so abandoned). my whole life is spinning crazy crazy out of control. at least this week i'm not suicidal although i think i'm doing a good job of hurting myself in other ways.
case and point would be last night, my maneuvering myself back into a dumb situation. a couple weeks ago i met a psychiatry resident out at a bar and umm it was a long night and i ended up sleeping with him not b/c of who he was, but b/c he was a psychiatry resident- and i kept thinking this is someone's psychiatrist, and i wanted to know more about these mysterious people b/c i miss my therapist, etc.
anwyays, i did it again last night. i dont' even know his last name. yes, i'm a slut. everythign is so messed up. but anyways, from this experimentation, i have foudn that psychiatrists dont' care about people. i am convinced that everything is fake and that noone can help me and that umm, he's kind of a creep or just not very respectable/trustworthy/nice guy like. and this is someone's therapist. so i'm confused. and noone cares. and i realize i'm all alone in this world, and that your life matters to noone but yourself and only you have to fight for it i think b/c noone can help you.
i dunno, if i'm making sense. i know that my mind is going all over the place and i'm so mad at myself and i keep eating, eating, eating, but that's keep me from crying, crying, crying.
that's all.
conclusion is i'm crazy.
poster:lonelygal2
thread:454031
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050206/msgs/454031.html