Posted by Frida on December 9, 2005, at 13:58:25
Hi..
I'm so desperate here and crying that I don't know what to do-Today I saw my T, and we talked a bit about the next days and holidays. She's leaving for a month and a half. I'm seeing her two more times before she leaves.
I could have asked her today to see me twice a week the next two weeks and I didn't.
I was calm (inside I was crying), I just told her that before she leaves I feel the need and urgency to try to let out something--
She told me that it is hard to do that in just a short time and then have my soul and heart open like that, like a raw wound- but I told her I need to- that i will feel less threatened when I'm alone if she knows a bit more about what happened- so we agreed to do that in the next times. But two times aren't enough at all--I emailed her asking if she could consider seeing me twice a week, now that I'll be off work for a little while, but maybe she won't agree-
I've promised to talk before and didn't-I wrote that maybe she could see me early in the week and based on what I do, decide--
I begged her to consider--I was so calm today when I wish I could have sobbed and cried instead of crying all alone-
Now, it all hits me and I'm falling apart-
I don't know how to do this-
the pain inside is so horrible-
I am scared of being alone with all those things-I should have told her something today, I should have let it out-
i"m afraid of keeping all the feelings to myself.
I'm having such a hard time showing feelings when I"m there and the moment I walk out the door it all comes to me.How can I accomplish this in just two sessions???
and then wait for a month and a half...I feel totally lost here and it hurts so much I don't know how to handle it
please...help...
Frida
poster:Frida
thread:587375
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/587375.html