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Re: Update on pdoc

Posted by DAisym on July 18, 2007, at 0:59:44

In reply to Update on pdoc, posted by antigua3 on July 17, 2007, at 21:25:05

He thinks that what we were talking about last time precipitated my crisis. He was pointing out that it was my father's failings and not my own that led to the abuse, and I got quite upset.

****This makes sense to me. It was "easier" somehow to put your anger and fears into him instead of your father. I also think that your fears of termination mirror the old fears of abandonment - with good reason. I hate transference!

But, as he says, I made it through it a stronger person and he will have to be more careful about when he hits my "hot" buttons, that maybe he pushed too hard.

****I'm glad he said that, it will be important to get the intensity right most of the time. If he pushes too hard, it might make you melt down - I remember when that happened before. I know you are a strong person but I still worry.

He has a tendency to do that, but that's what I feel like I need. To confront things, and not get a pat on the back for how tough it is. I get all that from my T and I'm very happy she's there. But he has value too.

******I'm a little worried about this. I know you want to work hard and you are. But I'm concerned you are somehow unconsciously punishing your little girl by forcing her (yourself) to confront all these hard things and sort of "buck up" around them. This is all very tough and it is OK to get support and encouragement. I know there is value in doing the really hard stuff. But there is value in the security of the relationship too.

I'm so impressed with all the questions you ask. I'm glad you are feeling better.

 

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poster:DAisym thread:770234
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/770287.html