Posted by antigua3 on July 18, 2007, at 12:30:58
In reply to Re: Update on pdoc, posted by DAisym on July 18, 2007, at 0:59:44
> ****It was "easier" somehow to put your anger and fears into him instead of your father. I also think that your fears of termination mirror the old fears of abandonment - with good reason. I hate transference!
Oh yes, he is going to be the recipient of a lot of grief from me, but he says he can handle it.
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> it will be important to get the intensity right most of the time. If he pushes too hard, it might make you melt down - I remember when that happened before. I know you are a strong person but I still worry.thanks for your concern, but I didn't really think him just stating the facts that the abuse was due to my father's failings and not my own would set me off like that. Like I said, I felt like he was defending my father. He said since my reaction was so severe that maybe we should slide (or slither as B2chica would say) over to another area before we return to that. So I have to watch out. I've discussed the same issue endlessly with my T and have never had such an intense reaction.
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> ******I'm a little worried about this. I know you want to work hard and you are. But I'm concerned you are somehow unconsciously punishing your little girl by forcing her (yourself) to confront all these hard things and sort of "buck up" around them. This is all very tough and it is OK to get support and encouragement. I know there is value in doing the really hard stuff. But there is value in the security of the relationship too.
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Hadn't thought about what this might mean in terms of my little girls, who don't really exist anymore, at least not separately. But you've made a great point. I know I'm walking a dangerous line here, I really know that, and I will try to be extra careful. I made it through this crisis, but I am still very concerned about how he will respond to future ones. I always put on a little extra armour when I see him, and I do have my T.I will not be burned twice. It's just hard sometimes to know when it's coming!But I learned something from this recent experience with him, but the cost was high and I'll try to remember that. If not, remind me!
thanks for your support,
antigua>>
poster:antigua3
thread:770234
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/770351.html