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mumblings. little suicide trigger.

Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 22, 2007, at 17:29:14

In reply to shut down, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on July 22, 2007, at 14:28:29

T said I needed more "structure" What would that be? partial outpatient? no clue how that works. Do I have the guts to ask? I went to a yoga class on friday. that was okay. maybe I'll try and go to more exercise classes. Or will I be too slothlike?

I wish I could nap. that would provide structure. then I'd have pre-nap and post-nap. instead of dazed confusion.

Walking up the stairs is like a sloth with 3 toes.

Husband is clueless. thinks I'm depressed. dunno how to tell him

maybe it's med side-effects. Maybe I'll feel better one of these days. who knows?

What should I say to my husband? How can I get him to be supportive without getting defensive? How can I get him to be present without trying to fix me? I don't have the presence of mind to be fixed. I just want to stay very very still until this all passes. But the white blanket (more like batting) prevents all kinds of rational thought. Like planning. probably a good thing, given what kind of event I'd be planning.

I think T is in tune. I can't remember when my next appt is. maybe this is a good opportunity to go look. (pause). As I feared. next friday. Well. I guess I can call him. what would I say though?

I'm not actively suicidal. Can't think straight to put that kind of plan in motion. I DO wish I had more support. a friend.

WTF?!? One of my friends just called me. My voice was kind of tremulous, but she was very kind. Sad that I wouldn't be seeing her on my vacation but understanding.

Well, I better go. My voice is tremulous on the computer too.

((((diet coke))))

-Ll


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poster:LlurpsieNoodle thread:771145
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/771175.html