Posted by jammerlich on July 24, 2007, at 15:46:16
In reply to Re: Another question for everyone » jammerlich, posted by TherapyGirl on July 23, 2007, at 18:40:42
And she did start out by trying to talk about last week. So, points for her there. At least she realizes that something about it was a big deal. I told her that I'd been thinking about it a lot and had some very specific things to say; but that I wanted to wait until next week because I have a lot to do this week and don't want any added disruption.
She asked what I was going to "do with it" this week if we didn't go ahead and talk about it. That felt like she didn't think it was a good idea. But, I told her I'd been thinking about all the possible outcomes and some seemed bad enough to me that I worried I might not be able to do what I need to do. She seemed to understand that and didn't push at all. Just asked if I still wanted to come to my appt. on Thurs. I didn't know, so we decided to wait and talk about it again at the end.
Then we went on to have a really, really good session. I even told her about something that triggered me pretty badly over the weekend and relates to all the stuff I can't seem to talk about. Go figure. Of course, I also wanted to add, "And I really would liked to have CALLED you; but, I wasn't sure it'd be OK!!"
So, we got to the end and she asked about Thurs. I said I'd like to come if that was OK. She said it was.....and in a way that seemed really genuine. I looked at her, felt so strongly how very badly I want this to work out with her, and got all choked up. She asked what I was going to say and I just shook my head. She said, "Jammer, I'm sorry if I upset you last week. I really didn't intend to do that." I think it's odd that she would find it at all surprising that I would be upset by what happened; but, it was a nice thing to hear. It felt real.
This is going to be even harder than I thought. I hope you all don't get tired of it before next Tuesday because I'm going to need you all if I have any hope of maintaining my resolve.
poster:jammerlich
thread:771173
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/771673.html