Posted by DAisym on July 23, 2007, at 17:22:18
In reply to Re: Needs and my situation with T.....help!! » DAisym, posted by jammerlich on July 23, 2007, at 14:21:37
Daisy, what do you think about the use of medication to get through the telling? And I mean if you can be stable if you weren't talking about it. She seems to think that meds are the way to go to make it easier.
****Remember I'm biased in some ways because I went on medication to regain my stability. There came a point when I had to talk about the abuse - both now and in the past. But talking about it was such a shock to my system and it unleashed so many powerful emotions that I went into crisis pretty quickly. From everything I've read, this happens frequently. So I think medications are very useful to help "maintain." Medications can also reduce the anxiety that is keeping you from telling. These are useful if your stories are in the room and on your mind a lot -- but not out there for discussion. My son made use of therapy after he was on medication for anxiety. So in that way, medication can make it easier.
I guess I think about how everyone says it'll come when it's ready to come and think if you need medication to be "ready" then maybe something else is wrong with the situation. But maybe that's because I really DO feel that something else is wrong with mine.
******I don't think I agree that "if you need medication something else is wrong" -- sometimes it takes the calming of anxiety and getting enough sleep to focus on this huge step. But I don't think medication alone opens the door to the telling - there must be containment on the part of the therapist as well. It is kind of like taking medication for a condition that also needs surgery. You need the medication to be ready for the surgery but if the hospital or doctor does not inspire confidence you aren't likely to agree to the surgery. So then the medication either "just" keeps you in a holding pattern or doesn't help as much as it might.
To me, it seems like she wants me on meds to make things easier on HER (so I won't call or whatever)and not so much for me, really. Maybe if I really believed she'd be there for me, I'd be more open to them. Not that I don't have other issues with them, because I do. There are lots of obstacles in that department.
****I have huge struggles around my feelings about medications - for me. For anyone else I'd say, "use whatever you can to feel better." Like all things, there are risks and benefits. I've hated some of what I've been on and been saved by other stuff. I still get mad at my therapist when he (oh-so-carefully) asks about my meds or the pdoc appointments. I get it in my head that he doesn't want to deal with the fallout of telling and all the dependency needs. But the honest truth, when I can remember it, is that he hates to see me suffer. His word - suffer. He never withdraws his support, as if it could ever be replaced with a medication. But he knows he can't be there at 3am, so sleeping is a good thing. And I think his experience is that the medications take the edge off the really hard stuff we are working on so that I can keep functioning and we can keep working on it. What point would there be to jump into working on the stuff that is making your life miserable if you can't function at all in your life by jumping into it?
Jammer - I think you keep answering your own question. You are not at the point of trusting this therapist to tell. Even if she says she can do everything you want, you don't know it inside yourself. You feel pushed away, you know you frustrate her and she tells you how confused she is about how to help you. Until the trust is back in place, the stories will stay hidden. I think you are so right that talking about what you need in order to go deeper is the exact right track. I doubt it matters this week or next. I agree getting disrupted this week seems like a bad idea. Taking control of when to talk about this is actually a good thing and more practice at self-care, though I know it is hard to wait.
poster:DAisym
thread:771173
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/771441.html