Posted by jammerlich on July 23, 2007, at 14:35:59
In reply to Waaaagh!! What a bunch of GREAT posts!!!! » jammerlich, posted by muffled on July 23, 2007, at 0:21:00
Muffly, you make a lot of valid points. And I really hope I'm not twisting what she says. I guess I DO believe it's OK for me to call sometimes; I'm just at a loss for when those times are. And I'm scared of calling at a "wrong" time, so then I freak and obssess, don't call at all, and just suffer in silence.
Most of the time I call these days is when there's something I know I NEED to say, but probably WON'T say if I wait until my next session. Those calls seemed OK b/c I really just needed to get the thing SAID so we could talk about it later; I wasn't really looking for anything from her. I have called a couple of times just because I was having a hard time with something (related to her or someone else) and both times, I found her to be very brief and lacking warmth. Like she was responding in such a way as to discourage future calls.
And like you, I wouldn't want her to sugarcoat anything. I think it'd be setting us both up for misery if she said something was OK when she didn't really feel that way. And while shooting straight helps me know I can trust her to be honest, I don't think it means I should stay with her. Maybe what she feels comfortable offering isn't the thing that's going to help me move forward.
I think it's great that your T has voicemail. Mine doesn't and, IMO, that's a real problem. She has a secretary taking messages during the day and an answering service to take messages or page her after hours; they just take your name and number. Given the nature of my recent calls, if she had voicemail, I wouldn't even need to speak to her....I could just blurt there. And that might leave me feeling more free to actually make calls when I have the more needy feelings, which I don't generally do b/c I feel like I've taken her time in the other ways and might step into one of those "not OK" situations.
poster:jammerlich
thread:771173
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/771385.html