Posted by jammerlich on July 23, 2007, at 14:21:37
In reply to Re: Needs and my situation with T.....help!! » jammerlich, posted by DAisym on July 22, 2007, at 23:11:40
Doing things her way is starting to feel like a really big deal. At the end of our last session, she sort of went off a little bit. Not raising her voice or even seeming angry; but, she WAS frustrated and the pitch of her voice got high and she gestured with her hands a whole lot. It was very unsettling.
She said she was confused, that she didn't know what to do to help me, and that she could make(or has made??, I can't remember) suggestions but I "won't do them anyway." (And this was after saying earlier, in the same session, that she really thinks I'm doing the best I can each day. How's that for mixed messages?) She sounded completely exasperated. I felt a sense I panic, like I MUST do more; but, after I got home and thought about it, it also made me really angry. I have my first ever pdoc appt. on Thursday and I'm going largely because she wants me to. All I've agreed to take is something to help me sleep; but, I could get that from my general practitioner. I'm going to the pdoc for her and I've agreed to find out what else he would suggest for me and take the list and look into those medications to see how I feel about them. That part is for her, too, and I think her statement made this step seem completely unimportant. It's also left me thinking, "why bother?" Are small steps REALLY alright with her? Will anything ever be enough?
Daisy, what do you think about the use of medication to get through the telling? And I mean if you can be stable if you weren't talking about it. She seems to think that meds are the way to go to make it easier. I guess I think about how everyone says it'll come when it's ready to come and think if you need medication to be "ready" then maybe something else is wrong with the situation. But maybe that's because I really DO feel that something else is wrong with mine. To me, it seems like she wants me on meds to make things easier on HER (so I won't call or whatever)and not so much for me, really. Maybe if I really believed she'd be there for me, I'd be more open to them. Not that I don't have other issues with them, because I do. There are lots of obstacles in that department.
poster:jammerlich
thread:771173
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/771382.html