Posted by Wittgenstein on September 9, 2007, at 13:18:59
In reply to Re: Younger parts/selves » twinleaf, posted by RealMe on September 9, 2007, at 11:54:01
RealMe
I suddenly feel ever so triggered :(
" Anyway, accessing the pain and emotion of things that happened, the various events, is extremely draining and powerful and very sad... "
This part of your post reminds me of a very intense few weeks I had some months ago - at the time when I first allowed myself to feel any of this (it followed my first meeting with a psychiatrist and where I first talked about my past) - I'd felt increasingly unwell for a long time (anxiety and depression) but this was the first time all of those things from the past felt vivid and present - before that I'd pushed them away, buried them. It was so painful and choking - a pain I could never have understood without having experienced it. I couldn't tolerate noise, light, movement... everything was unbearable - all I could think was to end it all. I still get these episodes at times when I am overwhelmed by what's happening in therapy. I'm terrified of them.
At one point, not long after I started seeing my therapist, I brought in some old things from my past - photos, a diary and some other things. He looked through my childhood photos so delicately. I haven't been able to look at them since - not sure why.
poster:Wittgenstein
thread:781609
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/781815.html