Posted by Honore on September 11, 2007, at 16:11:46
In reply to Re: Very partial response... » Racer, posted by girlnterrupted78 on September 11, 2007, at 13:40:27
It's hard to say, but my interpretation of your T's behavior is that she probably thought you understood her approach to therapy--which you may not have initially. She may have thought you were having trouble talking, but didn't want to start things, because what was important to you mattered and she didn't know what it was. She believed that if she was patient and waited, you would find those things, and it was better to give you the space.
At some point, she thought you might have worried that she was judging you, and wanted to be especially careful about saying things and asking you questions, because she was concerned that you might take her questions as hostile or accusatory. She may not have known why, and also thought that in time, you and she would come to understand why you tended to believe that you were being judged negatively when you weren't.
Then you were what seemed more angry at her, and she wasn't sure how to handle it, but tried to remain within her way of handling therapy, despite what possibly felt like your pressure, or even defensiveness (in that you might be feeling judged or uncomfortable with her silence). She could have felt confused and uncertain how to proceed in a constructive way. But you did seem very dissatisfied with her, and this made her also somewhat uncomfortable. Probably she wasn't sure what had caused it all, or whether you were ready or able to talk about what might have caused your feelings about her.
She didn't think her emotional state (like annoyance) was the issue, because but rather looked for some explanation in your emotional history and how you see the world. I'd tend to think she didn't feel annoyed, so it seemed that your feeling this was imported from some old relationship, pehraps that with your grandmother. Even if she wasn't like your grandmother in all ways, you could, in her mind, have been seeing her partially through the lens of your experience with your grandmother.
That, at least, would be my guess about what your T was thinking during the therapy. Of course I could be wrong, and it doesn't mean that her approach is at all good for you. There can be mismatches in style and temperament,which can lead to misunderstandings and miscommunications that are hurtful and baffling to both participants. I very much hope you find someone who radiates more warmth and responsiveness and who can engage you in as good a way as your prior T.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:781352
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/782256.html