Posted by fleeting flutterby on August 5, 2008, at 18:42:40
In reply to Re: anyone understand?, posted by antigua3 on August 5, 2008, at 18:08:22
>> I say this in the kindest way, but it isn't about you to him, it's about the addiction.<<
Oh I just remembered!! this is what my T. said too! thank you for reminding me.... maybe I better write this down.
> So you have to decide what you want out of life and go for it.<<Oh wow! were you in my session today? for homework I have to write down-- a whole page full-- of things I WOULD LIKE TO DO. Not what others can do to make my life happier but what I CAN DO.......
>> Have you tried Alanon? (Did I spell that right?).<<
heh, not sure of spelling either. well, I don't feel this is an option at this time, as my husband is trying to get his own compnay going and others knowing of this addiction could hurt his work-connections.>>You need to take care of you now, and not focus as much on him, if that's at all possible.<<...
I've only EVER taken care of others.... even my mom, when I was a child, when her times were tough I had to support her like as if I was HER mother. I take care and if they don't get better then I've failed.>>And you have to try not to take it personally. Do you feel like you're unlovable because he won't stop for you? If you do, stop beating yourself up. He's addicted.<< ...
YES! I do very much, wondering WHY am I NOT worth him stopping??.....
> I don't mean to sound harsh; I just hope you can find a way to concentrate on you, because sometimes we can't make others do what we want, no matter that it's the right thing.
> I wish you the very best of luck. I know you're in a really difficult situation.<<Thank you and I don't mind if it's harsh-- I like to be given things straight... don't care for sugar coating much.... well-- just when it's candy! LOL!......
>> And I think your T is looking out for you.<<
You really think so?? oh I hope you're right-- I'm so worried...... have huge trust issues......
flutterby- mandy
poster:fleeting flutterby
thread:844383
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/844404.html