Posted by Lucie Lu on August 6, 2008, at 16:14:58
In reply to Uncomfortable... (very long), posted by wishingstar on August 6, 2008, at 13:39:07
It sounds like you are caught between two worlds therapist and patient. You are feeling vulnerable and needy because you want some help of the eating disorder, but you are also feeling disappointed and frustrated because you know how helpful good therapy can be... but this just isn't. (Or hasn't been yet, anyway.) I'm not a therapist but can imagine that it can be hard to fully put down the mantle when you yourself need help. Perhaps on one level, you can't feel comfortable opening up to your present T because of all the professional issues and conflicts that interfere with your mutual relationship Yet on another level, you have a problem that is potentially serious and anxiety-provoking, and you want another, caring person to hear your distress and come to your aid - what any patient/client would reasonably want. That's more than enough basis for a very ambivalent and uncomfortable experience of therapy.
Perhaps your current T is also sensing your ambivalence or feeling some herself. Might she be treading carefully with you because she's unsure of how to proceed? Could she be afraid to delve too deeply or too quickly/slowly with you because she's afraid she might fall short professionally in your eyes and maybe others as well? Do you sense any competition between the two of you? Her suggestion of splitting the session by topic sounds reasonable but also sounds as if she really isn't sure where you are going or how your needs will be best met. And there may be all this other background static, complicating the relationship between you, making you, and maybe her as well, feel uncomfortable. Another, maybe throwaway, question what are her weight and body type like?
Sorry if my answer is rambling (although I didn't find yours rambling at all).
Glad you're posting.
Lucie
poster:Lucie Lu
thread:844587
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/844619.html