Posted by Dinah on August 6, 2008, at 20:55:05
In reply to Re: Talked to him about everything » Dinah, posted by onceupon on August 6, 2008, at 20:42:06
Well, the beyond repair part was termination. I had a plan once to kill myself if he terminated me. I don't have the intention of doing that at the moment. And fortunately I didn't when he sort of terminated me after Katrina. But I'm never quite sure whether I'll remember I'm no longer planning to kill myself under the stress of the moment. I asked him a few times to make sure that there are arrangements to have me taken to someplace I can't hurt myself. But I can't be sure he took me seriously or will remember to do that.
I don't *think* I could possibly be holding anything back in my relationship with him. I may be afraid he'll terminate me, and I may obsess about it. But I don't think my engagement level could be any deeper. I *do* think one reason I can engage so fully with him is that the nature of the relationship limits the intimacy. But to the extent it's possible to engage with a therapist, I've done it. And to the extent it's possible to ethically and properly elicit an engaged response from a therapist, I think I've done that too.
He's a good therapist/mommy. But I'm one heck of a therapee/daughter too.
Which is not to say the important boundaries aren't firmly in place. They are. We both value the sacredness of the therapy space too much to do anything but value the boundaries that make therapy possible.
poster:Dinah
thread:844447
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/844693.html