Posted by Annierose on August 6, 2008, at 7:51:57
In reply to Talked to him about everything, posted by Dinah on August 5, 2008, at 21:31:07
>>> he liked me despite my personal qualities, he laughed and said he'd never put it that way. When I pointed out that "I'd never put it that way" didn't necessarily mean it wasn't true, he said he wouldn't put it that way because he'd never think that, which must mean that he didn't think that was true. I liked that he didn't just flat out deny it. <<<
I don't agree with your logic here. Just because a person would never put a thought in a certain sentence sequence does not mean your thought is necessarily their truth. It's not the way they see the situation.
I hear you telling your therapist that this is how I am and this is how you must see me ... because it's the truth. I hear him saying, "I understand your point of view, and I can maybe I can see why you feel that way (based on your history), BUT it isn't how I see you."
This isn't the best of examples but it's illustrates (hopefully) what I'm trying to get across. (I've been sick for two weeks - mono - so my brain synapses are running slow). A person suffering from aneroxia is convinced that they are fat and need to lose weight or maintain a very low body weight. The outside world sees them as too thin. There are a host of reasons why the aneroixic feels they are overweight. The therapist understands they see themselves in that light but does not agree with their "truth". One of the therapist's goals is to help the client see themself in a more loving light.
I am glad you are talking about this with your t. I've had similiar conversations about therapy ending abruptly recently. Maybe reading these threads has slipped into my sessions. My t was firm, "I am not going to one day come in here and kick you off the couch." Of course I know things happen --- but they better not happen to her.
poster:Annierose
thread:844447
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/844524.html