Posted by yellowbird01 on June 21, 2009, at 22:12:22
I go back to see my T again on Tuesday and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to approach her, and therapy, with all the issues going on right now.
Awhile back, I bookmarked the post made by Dinah a few years ago about "being a Jessica" to your therapist. Being special. I imagine some of you remember it? It just felt like such a perfect explanation. I reread it tonight and it still feels very fitting to me.
The last round of therapy I did with my current T about 2 years ago, and all the ones before that with her really, I knew I was a "Jessica" to her. I knew I was special to her. I didnt always feel it, but I always knew, on some level, that she really cared. Maybe more, or differently, than she cared about some of her other clients. Now, it feels quite obvious that I'm NOT in that position any longer. In fact, it feels like she doesnt much care one way or the other. I'm just another client. We're not connecting.
I think we all want to be in that "special" role with our Ts. It feels so good, and it's hard to constantly have to question whether they care or not. Being in that "special" role makes it so much easier to believe they care, even when things arent going great in therapy. But has anyone here ever had that relationship with a T and somehow lost it? I feel very confused, afraid to trust her, hurt by it. It's not the only issue we're facing, but it's a big one for me.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Has anyone been there? Is it really important? I'd love to hear any thoughts, about my situation or just in general.
I hope you dont mind Dinah, but I'm going to link back to your post about "being a Jessica" for those who didnt see it. I think others might like it too.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060121/msgs/604227.html
poster:yellowbird01
thread:902532
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/902532.html