Posted by Daisym on June 22, 2009, at 19:55:48
In reply to Re: Caring (and lack of) from therapist » Dinah, posted by yellowbird01 on June 22, 2009, at 19:45:27
I think like all things, therapy evolves and changes. And when your therapist makes a change, it stings if you aren't ready to make the same one. I think there are stages to every therapy and the initial stage, however long it lasts, is to build an alliance with the client - to get them to trust you and to build a relationship that can stand some pushing. After this is done, more of the work emerges and it doesn't feel anywhere near as good.
But if done correctly, the relationship should deepend and so should the trust, not the other way around. She may be totally unaware that she is sending non-caring signals, she may think that you just "know" she cares now. A few months back I went through a really hurtful event with my therapist because he said something like, "you STILL don't trust me, after everything we've been through?" It was super hard for me to live up to this expectation, but we talked and talked and talked about what I thought he meant and what he thought he meant.
I also do think when one or the other person in the room is less engaged, that usually means there is stuff not being dealt with and not being talked about. Could it be that you are avoiding something, and/or spending energy to get strokes?
All this said, I do think it is important that you bring your feelings out in the open. You've invested a lot in this relationship and so has she, so at the very least, the relationship deserves an honest and open discussion.
Good luck,
Daisy
poster:Daisym
thread:902532
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/902656.html