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Re: Caring (and lack of) from therapist » yellowbird01

Posted by Dinah on June 22, 2009, at 19:16:08

In reply to Caring (and lack of) from therapist, posted by yellowbird01 on June 21, 2009, at 22:12:22

I'm delighted!

My therapist and I now love that post and he'll sometimes initiate the phrase.

I think there are times when yes, I do feel like I've been fooling myself to think myself a Jessica to him. In fact it happened just last week. Friday we had a very long talk about my perceptions and his perceptions and we sorted it out for this time anyway.

One thing that I was reminded of from that experience is that what we see is the tip of the iceberg. Even with my therapist, who I don't think of as being all that deep or mysterious. What I thought was going on and what he thought was going on were completely different.

Have you discussed this with her?

It's likely not that she no longer cares. Her behavior over a long period of time would not indicate that to be true. Is it possible that she sees her role differently? That she feels like she needs to back away a bit to be effective as a therapist to you?

I always muse that it really is impossible to shove the horse completely back in the barn, and not have it be more hurtful than helpful. One thing that's helped with us is to be more verbal about the process.

Is she willing to discuss this openly? And I'll share my experience that when I was angry and acting out my hurt with my therapist, I didn't get anywhere with him. But when I asked it more as "I don't really understand what happened. Do you know?" we had a really good conversation.

Your mileage may vary. My therapist is one of a kind. :)

 

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poster:Dinah thread:902532
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/902651.html