Posted by AuntieMel on May 3, 2005, at 12:35:28
In reply to drug use and concurrent lying and deception, posted by sunny10 on May 2, 2005, at 13:38:37
I've said this, I know, but it bears repeating.
Drinking, drugging and lying go hand in hand. I was 'just a drinker' and I 'didn't have a problem' for a long time.
So, to answer your questions:
1)lied to a loved one because you wanted to use
I said I didn't stop at the liquor store. I said I wasn't drinking when I had been. On the phone, I wasn't drunk - I just woke up. That headache in the morning was sunuses. I never lied *because I wanted to use* but I lied that I had been using.
2) been caught
nearly every time. He knows me too well.3) been forgiven
I was always forgiven, especially after he did a bit of research and finally believed it was truly a disease. He always blamed the disease, not me.
4) been trusted again in all things
Not the same as forgiving. The trust came back slowly as I showed that I could stay dry. And thanks to his participation in a family group he now says if I do slip it won't be the end of the world - but lying to him about it would be.
It isn't just the quitting. A person in recovery also has to work on the why of doing it, look inside himself to see the selfishness and deceit that is part of the package, realize how others really are hurt by his using - and move forward to become a better person. Those are the things rehab helps with.
poster:AuntieMel
thread:492705
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050323/msgs/493131.html