Posted by Caper77 on May 3, 2005, at 23:53:24
In reply to drug use and concurrent lying and deception, posted by sunny10 on May 2, 2005, at 13:38:37
My drug of choice is/was alcohol and it turned me into a selfish, lying, cheating, manipulative woman.
1) I lied to get out of the house to get it, lied to use it, lied about whether I was using, lied about the time I had sober. I lied to my family, friends, boyfriend, psychiatrist, therapist and anyone else you could possibly think of including my grandmother and my child.
2) I've been caught by most of the above too, including my child.
Him: "What are you drinking Mom?"
Me (just out of another detox): "Water, honey."
Him: (looking disgusted and confused and hurt): "Sure."
Me: "Go back to sleep."It was vodka of course.
3) I've been forgiven many times.
"We just want you better!"
"We want the old you back."
"What can we do to help?"4) I seriously doubt I will be trusted again any time soon, nor should I be.
I'm only a few weeks sober and I do not deserve anyone's trust just yet. I am just now owning up to all the bad things I've done and just now beginning to think about cleaning up the mess I've made.
I am truly trying now though. For about a year and a half I'd have to admit that drinking was always the first thing on my mind. Now it's my son again, as it should be. I'm very ashamed of myself, but I'm also very lucky that no one has turned their backs on me as I probably deserved. For the first time in a long time I'm not thinking "sobriety sucks, where's the booze?" It feels good. (But you still cannot believe me, not yet!)
Bottom line:
If he's using, he's lying about it and if you catch him lying that means he's using. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you, but be very careful. Make him earn your trust back with _time_ not words and professed good intentions. Look after yourself because that's surely what he's doing.Best to you,
Caper
> How many of you have
> 1)lied to a loved one because you wanted to use> 2) been caught
> 3) been forgiven
> 4) been trusted again in all things
> and how?
poster:Caper77
thread:492705
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20050323/msgs/493456.html