![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by obsidian on February 8, 2008, at 20:59:01
my friend thinks I am "abusing it"....so I suppose that means that it is OK to use it, but not so much??
1)how much is too much?my pdoc said the pot is "not good for YOU", as in not someone with your proclivities toward depression and anxiety'
2)I say 'well damn...if I am high who cares if I am anxious or depressed??'
3) I have a real "f*ck it, I don't care type of attitude", so much of my inclination goes to the direction of continuing to smoke
what is that??I find myself thinking "I really don't think they need to worry...I think they (my T and pdoc) are over-reacting".
I know this won't be a big deal, and I think "isn't that nice that they care?" and I start to think I am letting them down, and like maybe I'm supposed to make some sort of choice...like change direction
but they don't seem to prefer that I stop smoking, keep smoking, or whatever...my pdoc is "well, you're going to get depressed", and my T is like "well, what is the plan going to be...like I am heading toward something (meaning a mental crash of some kind)
as if to say "well, it's your choice, but SOMETHING is going to happen"
but the truth is that NOTHING will likely happen, because I won't even be here(mentally) anymoreso that what they are saying couldn't possibly be true
and it feels like they are talking about somebody else they imagine me to bebecause I know it's no big deal, and that I will make it back to reality, just not yet
thanks for reading,
obsid
Posted by Sigismund on February 9, 2008, at 15:32:17
In reply to daily marijuana use-questions please, posted by obsidian on February 8, 2008, at 20:59:01
Hi there
This is all very interesting.....>but the truth is that NOTHING will likely happen, because I won't even be here(mentally) anymore
>so that what they are saying couldn't possibly be true
and it feels like they are talking about somebody else they imagine me to be>because I know it's no big deal, and that I will make it back to reality, just not yet
.......if hermetic (can this be correct word usage?).
If you kinda feel alright under the influence you have covered the effect on your mind as well as can be done. The effect on your body will be negative, but not neccessarily that bad. Perhaps there is a cancer thing, perhpas cannabinoids have some oestrogenic effect, certainly cannabis can muck around with melatonin levels.
I have known people whom cannbis suited. Then there are those who should never touch it.
Would I be right in thinking that you find it more helpful than your other meds? It sounds like it.
Posted by obsidian on February 9, 2008, at 23:42:59
In reply to Re: daily marijuana use-questions please » obsidian, posted by Sigismund on February 9, 2008, at 15:32:17
yeah for the anxiety it is very helpful so far, but I am out to lunch
I smoked not long after I got up this morning, and I am just now finally feeling more present
but I'd likely be high again right now if my boyfriend weren't here, he doesn't know I am smokingit's nice to see you sig :-)
Posted by Kath on February 15, 2008, at 17:41:06
In reply to daily marijuana use-questions please, posted by obsidian on February 8, 2008, at 20:59:01
> my friend thinks I am "abusing it"....so I suppose that means that it is OK to use it, but not so much??
> 1)how much is too much?******I suspect you will be able to find out if you're abusing by saying the following commitment-type statements & see how if 'feels' in your gut. How would you feel making each commitment:
"I commit to not smoking up for the rest of the day"
"I commit to not smoking up today & tomorrow"
"I commit to not smoking up the week"
"I commit to not smoking up for a month"
etc. - get the idea? To really get any accurate information from this, it'd be necessary to actually MEAN IT when you say it. To see how it would feel to actually KNOW that you're not going to do it.****
>
> my pdoc said the pot is "not good for YOU", as in not someone with your proclivities toward depression and anxiety'*******just read a report that for people who possess 2 types of genes, smoking weed can cause them to have schizophrenia. Pretty serious eh wot? My son (23) was diagnosed with sch. a year ago. He started doing weed at 13! Sad but true***
>
> 2)I say 'well damn...if I am high who cares if I am anxious or depressed??'
>
********I guess if you have to be high to NOT feel anxious or depressed, there's something that needs helping. Smoking anything is harmful to your lungs. Not preaching here...just replying to your points.*****> 3) I have a real "f*ck it, I don't care type of attitude", so much of my inclination goes to the direction of continuing to smoke what is that??
********sounds like a dependency on smoking weed in order to cope with life. I bet a lot of people who are depressed smoke up to self-medicate. Are you on meds?****
> I find myself thinking "I really don't think they need to worry...I think they (my T and pdoc) are over-reacting".********what do you think would be a reason for concern? Maybe that'd be good for you to look at. Like, "I would be concerned about my weed use if:....."*******
>
> I know this won't be a big deal, and I think "isn't that nice that they care?" and I start to think I am letting them down, and like maybe I'm supposed to make some sort of choice...like change direction*********do you have any inclination to change directions? do you do other drugs? YOU are the important one. People who care about you are obviously concerned about you. You are worth taking care of!*****
>
> but they don't seem to prefer that I stop smoking, keep smoking, or whatever...my pdoc is "well, you're going to get depressed", and my T is like "well, what is the plan going to be...like I am heading toward something (meaning a mental crash of some kind)*****if you do other drugs also, you could be heading for a mental crash, like my son. One guy in my son's mental health group has bipolar & it seems to have stemmed from smoking weed, although I suspect he might have done other drugs also. I think an important factor might be if you do other drugs.******
>
> as if to say "well, it's your choice, but SOMETHING is going to happen"
> but the truth is that NOTHING will likely happen, because I won't even be here(mentally) anymore******you'd have to be in a pretty bad state to 'not be here' mentally. Like, perhaps a zombie!!! When my son was REALLY psychotic, he was really screwed up bigtime, but believe me, he was THERE.....he was suffering a LOT********
>
> so that what they are saying couldn't possibly be true
> and it feels like they are talking about somebody else they imagine me to be*****what exactly are they saying? Maybe they're really scared for you***
> because I know it's no big deal, and that I will make it back to reality, just not yet
***sounds like they're afraid that you might get into really serious problems as a result of smoking weed. Do you smoke often? Daily? Hourly?*****
> thanks for reading,
> obsid
******Please don't take my post as being critical of you obsidian, because I'm not. It sounds like people who care about you are concerned & you feel there's no cause for concern. I guess a lot of factors would come into it. Are you on meds, do you do other drugs, how much, how often, how is it affecting your life, etc. I think the great thing is that you're looking at your life & evaluating things. It's good you care enough about yourself to be willing to look at the issue.I give you my warm support. Kath
Posted by obsidian on February 16, 2008, at 1:54:05
In reply to Re: daily marijuana use-questions please » obsidian, posted by Kath on February 15, 2008, at 17:41:06
> ******I suspect you will be able to find out if you're abusing by saying the following commitment-type statements & see how if 'feels' in your gut. How would you feel making each commitment:
>
> "I commit to not smoking up for the rest of the day"
>
> "I commit to not smoking up today & tomorrow"
>
> "I commit to not smoking up the week"
>
> "I commit to not smoking up for a month"
>
> etc. - get the idea? To really get any accurate information from this, it'd be necessary to actually MEAN IT when you say it. To see how it would feel to actually KNOW that you're not going to do it.****none of the above statements feel very good, but alas, I will run out soon, and I am thus far not planning on purchasing anymore pot
after the first one I was like "what!? for the whole rest of the day!?"
> *******just read a report that for people who possess 2 types of genes, smoking weed can cause them to have schizophrenia. Pretty serious eh wot? My son (23) was diagnosed with sch. a year ago. He started doing weed at 13! Sad but
true***oh Kath, I am so sorry :-( I wish you and your son well.
yeah...my genes aren't squeaky clean as far as mental illness goes...it seems to be all over my damn gene pool, but less than well understood
> ********I guess if you have to be high to NOT feel anxious or depressed, there's something that needs helping. Smoking anything is harmful to your lungs. Not preaching here...just replying to your points.*****
> ********sounds like a dependency on smoking weed in order to cope with life. I bet a lot of people who are depressed smoke up to self-medicate. Are you on meds?****oh yeah I am, but I don't really think they are going to help much in my case...I think my issues are less biochemical and more a potpourri of dysfunction....so I take them because I think my T and pdoc mean well, and it's nice that they want me to do well, but I need to get my crap together and that's just what it comes down to :-(
>
> ********what do you think would be a reason for concern? Maybe that'd be good for you to look at. Like, "I would be concerned about my weed use if:.....
"*******
oh I don't know, I think I want them to be concerned, but I don't know how to tell them to fix it, I just wanted to feel alright for a while...sigh...yeah, I am kind of tired
so concern is nice, but I feel like a lost cause- that in no way however means that I want to give either of them up
so there's not a hell of a lot of reason behind aall the pot smoking beyond me just wanting to be as high as I can be
> *********do you have any inclination to change directions? do you do other drugs? YOU are the important one. People who care about you are obviously concerned about you. You are worth taking care of!*****no, just the pot
I know I will run out of it in a few days..and that will likely be it, but reality is not looking so hot
thanks kath :-)
>
> *****if you do other drugs also, you could be heading for a mental crash, like my son. One guy in my son's mental health group has bipolar & it seems to have stemmed from smoking weed, although I suspect he might have done other drugs also. I think an important factor might be if you do other drugs.******no, no other drugs....so I suppose they expect I have my limits, and I guess I do, but I don't want any limits right now...I am on a mental vacation I think
>> > as if to say "well, it's your choice, but SOMETHING is going to happen"
> > but the truth is that NOTHING will likely happen, because I won't even be here(mentally) anymore
>
> ******you'd have to be in a pretty bad state to 'not be here' mentally. Like, perhaps a zombie!!! When my son was REALLY psychotic, he was really screwed up bigtime, but believe me, he was THERE.....he was suffering a LOT********I am so sorry for your son.
zombification is more what I am living in
> *****what exactly are they saying? Maybe they're really scared for you***they just seem to imply that it's not healthy and will lead to problems....but I've got problems either way, the question is which set of problems do I want?
>
> ***sounds like they're afraid that you might get into really serious problems as a result of smoking weed. Do you smoke often? Daily? Hourly?*****just daily
> ******Please don't take my post as being critical of you obsidian, because I'm not. It sounds like people who care about you are concerned & you feel there's no cause for concern. I guess a lot of factors would come into it. Are you on meds, do you do other drugs, how much, how often, how is it affecting your life, etc. I think the great thing is that you're looking at your life & evaluating things. It's good you care enough about yourself to be willing to look at the issue.it's alright
I put it out there
I'm thinking about it, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I will keep myself out of serious danger. It would seem I am incurably responsible. My mother used to say "I knew I didn't have to worry about you....", and she was right
>
> I give you my warm support. Kaththank you, it is much appreciated :-)
Posted by Kath on February 16, 2008, at 17:38:44
In reply to Re: daily marijuana use-questions please » Kath, posted by obsidian on February 16, 2008, at 1:54:05
> none of the above statements feel very good, but alas, I will run out soon, and I am thus far not planning on purchasing anymore pot
>
> after the first one I was like "what!? for the whole rest of the day!?"(((((((you))))))) ~smile~
> oh Kath, I am so sorry :-( I wish you and your son well.*****Thanks. he's doing WAY better than he was. Lately there are times when he's getting pretty close to how he used to be, in a sorta 'being there' way & 'being with-it' way. Sometimes he's probably about 90% like the old him - maybe even more. He's even got a part time job now...2 shifts a week. Who knows how he'll do. I wonder if he weren't on risperidone & seroquel, how he'd be. I wonder if they can make him sort of withdrawn or out-of-it***
> yeah...my genes aren't squeaky clean as far as mental illness goes...it seems to be all over my damn gene pool, but less than well understood
****isn't mental illness crappy!! & it seems to happen to mostly such nice people!*****
> oh yeah I am, but I don't really think they are going to help much in my case...I think my issues are less biochemical and more a potpourri of dysfunction....so I take them because I think my T and pdoc mean well, and it's nice that they want me to do well, but I need to get my crap together and that's just what it comes down to :-(****have you been on your meds for long? I was on Celexa for about 4 years. It was for anxiety, but my doctor said he felt the anxiety was from depression. He said the depression was probably from all the STRESSSSSSSS that I was going through due to my son's actions/inactions. So dysfunction could cause your brain chemicals to temporarily change, like mine did, I guess. I did NOT want to take meds. But I wanted to go to this particular doctor for therapy & he insisted on meds if he was going to have me as a patient, so I agreed. I've been off them for, hmmm, 2 years & a few months. Celexa messed up my memory BIGTIME***
> oh I don't know, I think I want them to be concerned, but I don't know how to tell them to fix it, I just wanted to feel alright for a while...sigh...yeah, I am kind of tired
so concern is nice, but I feel like a lost cause- that in no way however means that I want to give either of them up so there's not a hell of a lot of reason behind all the pot smoking beyond me just wanting to be as high as I can be******sounds like being high means being out of pain?****
> no, just the pot
> I know I will run out of it in a few days..and that will likely be it, but reality is not looking so hot
> thanks kath :-)***I'm really glad to hear you don't do other drugs as well. GAWD, I wish my son only did weed. Not to minimize the problems that I think weed can cause.
I'm so sorry you're in pain. I tend to always mention this link to people, as it's helped me cope with various types of anxiety & pain that I experience. You might want to look at it. It might be especially useful in dealing with coming off weed, if you don't buy any more.If you look at the link & decide to try it & don't know how to 'word' the statement, you can email 'Magnus' - the guy whose site it is. He's very nice. Here's the link:
www.tapping.com
It's sort 'way out there' but believe me, it has helped many people.****> I am so sorry for your son.
> zombification is more what I am living in******That was when he was REALLY sick & had been abusing his health/brain big-time with cocaine & crystal meth for a long time! He is da*ned lucky to still have a mind, as far as I'm concerned. I hope that soon you'll not be in so much pain. I hate pain of any kind. Mental & physical!!! Hate it!! Have you heard of 'mindfulness' at all? Right now I'm not as depressed as I have been, but there have been times when in the morning I'd wake up & actually feel almost physical pain from depression & lie curled up. I found that just being VERY aware of how I was feeling; what I was hearing helped me cope somewhat. If you're interested in using a mind-control type thing to help you cope, I suspect you'd get some support on either the Alternative Board, or maybe Social, or look in the Archives under Mindfulness maybe.***
> they just seem to imply that it's not healthy and will lead to problems....but I've got problems either way, the question is which set of problems do I want?*****yeah. Well, if it's true that it can lead to schizophrenia, THAT doesn't sound too appealing. In watching my son deal with it & being in the 'parent support group' & hearing how the other 'young people' are doing - believe me it's pretty awful. My son is probably one of the most fortunate ones. I'm not saying that would happen to you, but it you can manage to find ways to cope that don't include pot, it'd probably be a good thing.*****
> just daily
****** ~smile~ I note the "just"!! :-)
((((((you)))))))******> it's alright
> I put it out there
> I'm thinking about it, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I will keep myself out of serious danger. It would seem I am incurably responsible. My mother used to say "I knew I didn't have to worry about you....", and she was right*****well, I think your plan to not buy any more sounds good. Do you drink? If not, & if you're near a group & want some support from folks who have 'been there', there's always NA (Narcotics Anonymous) - I know that sounds extreme, but I don't think you need to be doing hard drugs to go. Just need to have the desire not to do drugs. I think most of the groups require abstinence from all drugs, including alcohol. 12-Step groups like NA work for some people & don't work for others.
Please know that I'm 'here for ya' as to support. you can always Babblemail me if you want to. I'm glad you have your medical support caring about you & there to help you, Obsidian.
hugs, Kath
Posted by obsidian on February 19, 2008, at 23:25:48
In reply to Re: daily marijuana use-questions please » obsidian, posted by Kath on February 16, 2008, at 17:38:44
and I am not expecting that it will be very pleasant, I don't want to feel like me again.
but alas, the pot is almost gonecan I stop myself from getting more? I guess I could, or not?
whoosh, down I go..........
ouch
Posted by ClearSkies on February 20, 2008, at 7:03:51
In reply to so soon I will have to live once again 'not high'., posted by obsidian on February 19, 2008, at 23:25:48
Maybe you can plan what you're going to do with yourself instead of smoking - you're going to need something to do to keep your hands and mind busy. When I was quitting my drinking habit, it was the habit itself that was hard to deal with.
So, if you haven't read a good book for a couple of years, go to a library and stock up with a pile of best sellers.
If you like coffee or tea, make a treat of it and lay in a supply of some good stuff, or take the money you would have spent on the weed, and splurge on a coffee shop visit a few days a week.It helped me to be able to plan ahead for those "danger" moments or hours when I used to be able to rely on being drunk or otherwise out of it, to have something 180 degrees in another direction planned, to keep my monkey mind busy. Because I knew if I was sitting in the house, thinking to myself, "I could be stoned right now...." then there'd be nothing stopping me from doing exactly that. Having some pleasant alternatives planned out at least gave me something else to think about, something else to do. Heck, I'd have a list as long as my arm of possible alternatives, just so I wouldn't be tempted to run to the corner liquor store... whatever works, you know?
I'm a solitary person, so it was never a matter of choosing different people to hang with, but it might be for you - you're making a different lifestyle choice here, and your old friends might not be as supportive as you'd expect. You do need to cultivate support in as many areas as you can in order to be successful (kind of a team effort). That's why NA meetings and AA meetings work so well - they are people with a common cause.
Wishing you the best! Keep posting!
ClearSkies
Posted by Sigismund on February 20, 2008, at 16:17:34
In reply to Re: so soon I will have to live once again 'not hi » obsidian, posted by ClearSkies on February 20, 2008, at 7:03:51
I think the Japanese have pretty strict rules about drugs generally.
But they would have all these events that felt just as good and rather similar.
This is probably from Sapporo in Hokkaido
http://www.japanwelcomesyou.com/images/ice_sculptures.jpgThey have these religious festivals at night where you walk through trees lit up like this...
http://www.ryokan-yachiyo.com/ryokan-kyototrip/eikando2.jpgThe desire for transcendance is absolutely basic, and without religious spectacles that we can watch without having problems, what do we do?
(Go shopping? There was some graffitti I read which was something like 'Go to work, watch TV, die'.)
There are peoples in the world who do not feel they have to ask 'But is it true?' about their religions.
Their religions are just a part of their lives.
Posted by obsidian on February 20, 2008, at 19:12:41
In reply to Re: so soon I will have to live once again 'not hi, posted by Sigismund on February 20, 2008, at 16:17:34
wow...they don't question their religion?
I suppose that might feel comforting,
to "know" that something is absolutely true, on faith, to just accept it?
hhmmm...what a nice feeling to just "be" (and I am high at the moment)
for me there is always a question looming, waiting to strike
but what if? but what if?
and I hear people talk who just believe in "god"
and I think, but that can't be! but that's nice for you...that you can believe in something
Someone today told me that they don't have anything to lose and nothing to believe in, and I found that there was nothing in me that said anything other than...."yeah, you're right, there is nothing to believe in is there?" with a feeling of some shared despair.thanks for the pictures sig :-)
Posted by Kath on February 20, 2008, at 20:22:12
In reply to Re: so soon I will have to live once again 'not hi, posted by Sigismund on February 20, 2008, at 16:17:34
Dec - what beautiful pictures you find!
hugs, kath
Posted by Kath on February 20, 2008, at 20:24:13
In reply to Re: so soon I will have to live once again 'not hi » Sigismund, posted by obsidian on February 20, 2008, at 19:12:41
Let us know how it's going obsidian.
Hope you can at least try for a bit without buying more.
luv, Kath
Posted by obsidian on February 20, 2008, at 22:33:13
In reply to Re: so soon I will have to live once again 'not hi » obsidian, posted by ClearSkies on February 20, 2008, at 7:03:51
> Maybe you can plan what you're going to do with yourself instead of smoking - you're going to need something to do to keep your hands and mind busy. When I was quitting my drinking habit, it was the habit itself that was hard to deal with.
>
> So, if you haven't read a good book for a couple of years, go to a library and stock up with a pile of best sellers.
> If you like coffee or tea, make a treat of it and lay in a supply of some good stuff, or take the money you would have spent on the weed, and splurge on a coffee shop visit a few days a week.
>
> It helped me to be able to plan ahead for those "danger" moments or hours when I used to be able to rely on being drunk or otherwise out of it, to have something 180 degrees in another direction planned, to keep my monkey mind busy. Because I knew if I was sitting in the house, thinking to myself, "I could be stoned right now...." then there'd be nothing stopping me from doing exactly that. Having some pleasant alternatives planned out at least gave me something else to think about, something else to do. Heck, I'd have a list as long as my arm of possible alternatives, just so I wouldn't be tempted to run to the corner liquor store... whatever works, you know?
>
> I'm a solitary person, so it was never a matter of choosing different people to hang with, but it might be for you - you're making a different lifestyle choice here, and your old friends might not be as supportive as you'd expect. You do need to cultivate support in as many areas as you can in order to be successful (kind of a team effort). That's why NA meetings and AA meetings work so well - they are people with a common cause.
>
> Wishing you the best! Keep posting!
> ClearSkies
thanks clearskies, there were a lot of helpful ideas in there
I am feeling kinda crappy right now.
I think sometimes that it's not a "good thing" to be smoking pot so much, but then again...I don't want to feel so crappy either, so we shall see now because I am all out!
(sigh)
be well,
sid
Posted by Sigismund on February 21, 2008, at 1:42:24
In reply to Re: so soon I will have to live once again 'not hi » Sigismund, posted by obsidian on February 20, 2008, at 19:12:41
>wow...they don't question their religion?
I'm not sure. I have read that certain premodern societies might be termed 'enchanted' (which doesn't mean anything neccessarily good) whereas our world is disenchanted.
>I suppose that might feel comforting,
to "know" that something is absolutely true, on faith, to just accept it?People in earlier times were much more sophisticated than we might think. I imagine that many took it for granted (in a kind of way) that they were dealing with metaphors and legends that had validiity.
>for me there is always a question looming, waiting to strike
but what if? but what if?
and I hear people talk who just believe in "god"
and I think, but that can't be! but that's nice for you...that you can believe in something
Someone today told me that they don't have anything to lose and nothing to believe in, and I found that there was nothing in me that said anything other than...."yeah, you're right, there is nothing to believe in is there?" with a feeling of some shared despair.
But what if 'belief' is not the issue? We live in fundamenatlist times. You live in a religious society, and I live in a non-religious one. Religion for me is better as colour and movement than as doctrine, the emphasis on which is emblematic of our (world wide!) cultural decline.
Posted by obsidian on February 21, 2008, at 21:47:49
In reply to Re: so soon I will have to live once again 'not hi, posted by Sigismund on February 21, 2008, at 1:42:24
I just picked up Joseph Campbell's "The Power of Myth" from my bookcase
feels appropriate
Posted by obsidian on February 26, 2008, at 21:27:37
In reply to Re: so soon I will have to live once again 'not hi » Sigismund, posted by obsidian on February 21, 2008, at 21:47:49
yup, back to planet earth I'm afraid ;-)
Posted by Kath on February 27, 2008, at 16:09:41
In reply to 7 days of being 'not high'...., posted by obsidian on February 26, 2008, at 21:27:37
Congrats on your 7 days sid.
I send you my bestest supporting thoughts.
luv, Kath
Posted by obsidian on March 5, 2008, at 15:32:46
In reply to Re: 7 days of being 'not high'.... » obsidian, posted by Kath on February 27, 2008, at 16:09:41
I don't know what the f*ck is going on
does disconnected equal depressed?
Posted by ClearSkies on March 6, 2008, at 11:03:22
In reply to I am once again out of my mind......, posted by obsidian on March 5, 2008, at 15:32:46
> I don't know what the f*ck is going on
>
> does disconnected equal depressed?By out of your mind, do you mean that you're high? Or that you're so depressed you feel disconnected? Because it's perfectly reasonable to be depressed (and not high) if you're on your second or so week of being straight. This is your brain without "better living through chemistry" - it's not sure it likes what it sees!
CS
Posted by Kath on March 6, 2008, at 16:28:36
In reply to I am once again out of my mind......, posted by obsidian on March 5, 2008, at 15:32:46
Hi Sid,
I agree with ClearSkies, if you're in fact still not using (which is how I interpreted your post).
Please keep posting. I'm here for you. I don't go on the computer every single day (esp on weekends), but I'll see your post within at least a couple of days & I've marked this thread to notify me if there are new posts.
((((((((((you))))))))) luv, Kath
Posted by obsidian on March 7, 2008, at 2:56:13
In reply to Re: I am once again out of my mind...... » obsidian, posted by ClearSkies on March 6, 2008, at 11:03:22
I am smoking again
I don't want to connect
I don't like how I feel
I tried to give my weed to my T, but he wouldn't let me do that, has to be me
my nonexistent ego is fighting that, it's on strike
it wants to disappear
Posted by obsidian on March 7, 2008, at 3:01:14
In reply to Re: I am once again out of my mind...... » obsidian, posted by Kath on March 6, 2008, at 16:28:36
thanks Kath....
but I'm not sure I deserve concern
I think I was warnedbe well,
sid
Posted by ClearSkies on March 7, 2008, at 7:01:36
In reply to Re: I am once again out of my mind...... » ClearSkies, posted by obsidian on March 7, 2008, at 2:56:13
> I am smoking again
> I don't want to connect
> I don't like how I feel
> I tried to give my weed to my T, but he wouldn't let me do that, has to be me
> my nonexistent ego is fighting that, it's on strike
> it wants to disappearAh, well. That would be a relapse, and it's understandable in early sobriety (I use that term loosely for not using whatever substance it is that you used to use).
You can make the choice to put the weed aside and try again, or you can decide that you'd rather smoke. That's the nice thing about having free will. If it's making you feel like you lost a battle somehow with yourself, then perhaps you deserve to give yourself another go at not smoking.But it's rather important to have something to fill the void - make some plans to fill the time and your mind. (That's why all those people go to meetings all the time!)
take good care,
ClearSkies
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Substance Use | Extras | FAQ
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