Posted by Dinah on April 26, 2005, at 8:25:05
In reply to Re: I think the therapist is making a mistake » Dinah, posted by AuntieMel on April 25, 2005, at 15:40:25
I know. And I don't like it. I call it the startle discipline technique. It's not quite a yell, but it's an overreaction to the situation done pretty much on purpose by his own admission to encourage compliance. It inevitably puts my son in tears. And it's a rather belittling technique, complete with comments on inability to pay attention, etc. that I think are uncalled for. He thinks what I do can't be considered discipline because I talk to the boy. But it works! If I tell him he can play, but his homework needs to be done by four thirty, and I come out at five, his homework is done. And he's only eight.
But this is not the first psychologist/parenting expert who has told my husband that his style is harmful to our intrapunitive little boy. It usually makes a difference for a little while then he goes back to being him.
He did surprise me by saying last night that he had decided to change because of what she said (although he did the startle discipline technique over the weekend, so I'm not optimistic).
However the way he said it wasn't all that encouraging. He said "I've decided to be a lazy parent like that therapist said. I'll try letting *you* discipline for a while and we'll see what happens *then*."
I'm not sure that bodes well for the future.
poster:Dinah
thread:488746
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050226/msgs/489705.html