Posted by tinydancer on March 10, 2004, at 1:53:24
In reply to How do you feel about your T's boundaries?, posted by KindGirl on March 9, 2004, at 20:53:45
Hey Missy!
Thank you for the great update. I find it incredibly helpful to hear about other's sessions-what they do, what they find helpful, individual therapeutic approaches and so on. I learn a lot.
I'll try to take your post in chronological order. First off, am I the only one who disliked In Session? I got absolutely nothing out of that book. I should probably read it again. But don't you love the example of the Italian p-doc who let patients sit on his lap and kiss him? One of my friends commented, "Who is getting therapy in that situation???" Haha....Anyway, I loved the imagery. I like to think that all T's have firm boundaries, but that doesn't mean that they are restrictive or insensitive people.
One day in a therapy session I discussed very openly, for the first time in my life, some of the abuse that occured. It was very difficult and even my T got teary eyed. At the end of the appointment I had this very strong sense of healing. It seemed so right and natural to give a hug. So I asked him. He sat there and thought about it a little, and felt conflicted because of my alters and what they want. In the end I didn't get a hug, but he did hold my hands and make sure I felt safe about what I had told. I think he felt bad about it, but I don't think that it changed his opinion about that being the right thing. He has a lot of thoughts on touching and after he has explained to me more of his thinking I realize how careful he is being for my sake. So that makes me feel good!
What I like best is that my T takes responsibility for handling what I say. It isn't my business to sort and categorize, he'll do that for me. As he said,"I want you to spill your heart out to me!" And I do. I feel important, cared for and listened to when I'm with him and that in itself creates a safe environment where I'm comfortable to say whatever is on my mind.
Does your T have children? I was just thinking about my T telling me that he at one time recieved phone calls at home but found out it just wouldn't work out with young children in the house. I understood that. I don't think it would be a good idea to call him on his cell phone, although I do have the number, I don't want to put him in any sort of uncomfortable position. I asked him once if I would have gotten in trouble and he said no, but that he trusted me to use my judgement or something like that. I have his email, and he is great about replying, so that's enough for me.
poster:tinydancer
thread:322622
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/322746.html