Posted by Fallen4myT on March 10, 2004, at 13:54:58
In reply to Re: How do you feel about your T's boundaries? » Fallen4myT, posted by tinydancer on March 10, 2004, at 1:38:44
Oh TinyDancer what a nice thing to say and thank you. Actually my T has said that to me and that I have a rare gift: grace. He said that twice to me the first time he looked at me all kind of stunned as I was just yakking about a friend and he said that.
But :( what does it matter if it is true. It doesnt count becasue he hasnt made a move :( I am not thinking I do not trust him. I hinted once on it and he seemed odd about it so I backed way away because I would rather stay in the perimeter of his life than have him uncomfortable or dismiss me. But I don't know for sure if he knew what I was hinting at I think he did but heck it drives me crazier.
I know what you mean about the rules and he is LUCKY I have some of my mind left lol cause I could have said OH COOL, and taken say his jacket and a few books...sat with chips and talked on the phone long distance with friends lol...HE HAS TO HAVE RULES..I just don't know what they are. I wanted to send him a Christmas card but didn't cause I don't want to creep him or break any hidden rules.
I don't know what IS O.K :( The man has had tears in his eyes in some of my sessions he is so nice and has crossed some thin lines but I am often just standing in cement cause for me a list of rules would be easier to follow than "I HAVE NO RULES" and other things he said.
And he really doesn't know the DEPTH of my love for him and how unselfish it can be if he wasn't intrested in return. I fear he never will and we will both miss out for that :( It eats away at me. I erode from within with a deep love for him. I doubt he has ever had a love so deep and unselfish. And there is so much more I could say but can't cause I don't want my T bashed. :-/
And thank you :)
poster:Fallen4myT
thread:322622
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/322943.html