Posted by Susan47 on July 21, 2004, at 10:38:28
In reply to Re: Transference - choices JenStar, posted by Dinah on July 16, 2004, at 17:23:53
> It may be just me, but I don't think I'd start a therapeutic relationship with someone I was attracted to. It would seem to be playing with fire, both to my emotions and to my relationship.
>
> My husband and mother both thought my therapist was attractive, but he was never attractive to *me*. Not my physical type at all. If I *had* found him attractive, I don't think I could have worked with him on the level I've worked with him.
>
> I think therapy has worked as well as it has for me because I've been willing to show my therapist the ugliest and most repulsive and embarassing sides of myself. I can't think I'd be willing to do that with someone I felt phyical attraction towards.
>
> Plus, I've seen how much pain it's caused people here on the board. :(
You're right Dinah, at least it's caused me a lot of pain. I transferred to my P and he became the most gorgeous, wonderful person alive ... but because he was also my paid employee and it was his job to be kind, accepting, etc., I felt such turmoil it was unbelievable. Here's the weird thing .. I called his answering machine sometimes 30 times a day and tried to talk to IT so I wouldn't have to talk to HIM! Is that not nuts?
I finally feel strong enough to break off my relationship with him .. relationship seems like a weird term to use when I'm actually his client (he calls us his "patients" and I hate that). Is there a relationship if you're paying him?
It was too hard on me emotionally in any case. I wanted back what I was putting into the "relationship". Which was love and lust and longing and desire. It was too difficult.
poster:Susan47
thread:366878
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040716/msgs/368574.html