Posted by antigua on July 17, 2004, at 13:58:31
In reply to Transference - another try, posted by vwoolf on July 17, 2004, at 9:31:34
Hi vwoolf,
I've been in therapy for a LONG time (14 years yikes!)and I've been through the mill w/a great female T (my current one), my first T (a female who I first saw 14 years ago and now I see for EMDR, who I like o.k., but feel NO attachment and actually don't feel much at all for her)and a horrendous CBT experience w/a male T that I experienced transference despite my best intentions to not fall into that trap. I was blindsided and didn't know it was coming. It actually occurred after he terminated me, which brought up all the abandonment issues with my father. He was not the slightest bit interested in helping me through it; he just didn't want to have anything else to do w/me. I haven't figured out why, really, except for the reason he gave: he couldn't help me and I should go somewhere else; or if I stirred up something in him. In either case, it was horrible.
Enough of me. I would say trust your judgment of who you feel most comfortable with. I love my current T and although I didn't think I experienced transference w/her, I guess I did. She became my perfect mother and at times she has protected me as I wish my own mother had. If anything, she has modeled the appropriate behavior for me.
You may have to go through that transference in one way or another to work through your issues. But that's also the kind of therapy (psychodynamic) that has worked best for me. I've always said heaven help me if I ever have a transference experience with a man and he reciprocates my feelings. But I don't think that's possible.
So I vote for your Pdoc if he's willing to take you on. He may be limited in what he's willing to do (but probably not), but if you get it all out upfront you should be o.k. To me, it sounds like your T might be set on a course of action that you may not want to follow. From myexperience, what she says is a reasonable form of therapy, but maybe it doesn't have to be quite so planned. They need to be spontaneous enough to let you lead them where you need to be.
best,
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:366878
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040716/msgs/367159.html