Posted by shrinking violet on October 26, 2004, at 11:00:35
In reply to What your T does when you cry?, posted by Skittles on October 25, 2004, at 22:31:15
I'm not a big crier at all, and if I do fall apart, I try to make sure I'm alone and hide it as best I can.
This past February -- I had been with my T for about 7 months at that point-- my T was talking to me (as usual lol) and something about her voice and what she says, and how she can manage to speak to that deep, hurt part of me that no one else could, that I started to tear up. I tried to hold it back, but the more I tried the worse it got. After a few mins. I had tears streaming down my face. I was mortified. After a bit, she came over and held out the box of tissues to me, which I thought was sweet (and hadnt thought of getting one for myself!). After a few minutes of waiting and watching (uncomfortable, but I couldnt help it and I was sort of relieved that I *could* cry with her), she asked if I had had enough and I said yes (it was about 15 mins before the end of session). Then she said, "Can I have a hug?" I know she meant if *I* wanted one, but maybe she thought her asking for herself would be easier for me to accept (true). So I nodded and she came over and I kneeled down next to her (my T is in a wheelchair) and I put my head on her shoulder and she held me and then it all came out, pretty much sobbing on her, and she spoke gently and softly and rocked me back and forth a bit. It was really nice, and something I needed, but I know some Ts and/or clients arent comfortable with that, and that's ok too of course. The other couple of times I've cried with her weren't so pronounced, so usually I sat there and tried my best to hold it back. I know if I asked her for a hug she would have granted, but it isnt something I'm comfortable asking for myself.
poster:shrinking violet
thread:407238
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/407428.html